i know I don’t get to post much out here these days, but for some reason it was a slow day so i thought I’d try and put something out for better or worse. So I was sitting around, minding my own business, looking for something to watch on the plane and I came across this thing. Obviously, the cover was alluring enough to invite me in but then, when i looked it up, i was all MAREN JENSEN???!!??? ATHENA???? (from the original Battlestar Galactica) SAY WHAT???
I totally had the hots for her when i was a kid! Her and Tegan:
I guess there’s a new Athena for the new Galactica but I’ve never seen one episode.
Anyway, spoilers ahead, I guess. I’d never heard of this but went with it anyway and this thing starts off really shitty. The music is absolutely crap and some dude is doing some farming and his wife (Athena) is toiling around with no bra and some girl is painting a picture and that weird looking bald guy from The Hills Have Eyes is some sort of Amish fucker and then the guy that was farming gets killed by his possessed tractor and then Sharon Stone and one of this chicks from Grease show up and i was all ‘ what the fuck is this fucking shit?”
But then baldy is peeping on a fully nude Athena before he gets killed and Ernest Borgnine is whipping people with a stick and Sharon Stone eats a spider and Grease-lady and her braless boobs are accidentally seducing some poor amish farmer and then she gets killed in a fiery car explosion and things were going ok for the most part.
Lots of low hanging torpedoes in this one…
Ban the bra!
This scene was actually funny. We’ve already seen her nude and in various states of undress but when she is in the tub and Craven is doing his pre Nightmare on Elm Street tub thing (with a snake) the actress is clearly wearing some sort of dark bikini bottom. Not that I was looking.
Anyway, things were going ok except for that spider eating bit and then we get to the end and some girl is actually a boy and someone is an incubus and someone gets killed and everything is finished up but then the real incubus shows up and pulls Athena to hell and i have no idea what the fuck that ending had to do with anything else.
Oh well – I’ve seen much worse – see ya! This sample is what i would imagine would happen if i ever met (enter your name here) in real life.