Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ESCAPE ROOM (2019) IT HAS THE HOT CHICK FROM TRUE BLOOD IN IT

First off, if I want to do a piece out here on this site I pay dearly for, I have to do it on my phone and my old eyes suck so these images I tried to capture are not the best and I couldn’t find a good poster for this thing that I liked so there’s that. Second, a lot of people dog on PG-13 horror (me) for their lack of anything horror-y but someone told me this was good – I think looper.com – so I gave it a look. Third, I bet I’m the only person around who still uses the term “dog”. Lastly, like Brightburn, this started off ok, swelled like a horny Frenchman’s jimmy in the middle and then shit itself in the end…

So this has Deborah Ann Woll, who I totally have the hots for, and HEY its dude from Tucker and Dale vs Evil!! My god I miss the excitement of seeing that the first time. Anyway, blah, blah, blah sis people get sent these puzzle boxes by their bosses or mentors inviting them to this escape room – which I question – why did they invite them there? Did they know they were all going to die? Hi! Think outside the box! You’ll be dead soon! Nothing shows how much you appreciate someone like having them murdered!

After a 30 or so minute opening delivering some so-so character development, the film gets good with its traps and scenery and sets and props and kills and such but then the end comes around and it feels like someone watched The Game when they were a kid, went to Cal Berkeley film school and tried to recreate it from their repressed memories. Ffffffft.

I guess I don’t really have much else to say here and I am going to peter out like this movie did… not terrible, not great, no boobs, not much blood… but good looking sets!

9 comments

  1. I don’t get to read content on here anywhere near as much as I used to. Your headline for this caught me. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is awful. The Game is a great film that sadly people try to mimic repeatedly. Miss your content, sorry I can’t stop by more. Keep doing you. You matter!

    Like

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