Dude. Bro. Chief. Friendo. You can’t unsee some of the practical effects in this fucker. I even had to look away a couple of times. Are you in for some head smashing? Flaying? Unattractive cooters? This may be the movie for you! Read that in your best Stefan from Saturday Night Live voice because this has it all including people being burned alive and a super long pole dancing scene reminiscent of the video for Safety Dance. Speaking of that, a month or so ago, I went to get some booze and Safety Dance was playing on the store PA and I said something like ” god damn I haven’t heard this in forever” and the clerk said something like “yeah i remember seeing this on pop up videos when I was a kid”…. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH
Some Swedish college kid takes four of his American college kid friends back home to his hippie commune for a peaceful and idyllic summer pageant where they’ll smoke weed, chew shrooms and screw tall, blonde Swedish chicks. Oh and write anthropology theses. Everyone is so nice, wearing their frocks, walking around with bare feet, hugging each other and innocently flirting. Or is it innocent? And did someone just pull a pubic hair out of his mouth? That’s just nasty.
In this movie you will witness unwanted sex, plenty of flute playing, male and female full frontal junk, lots and lots of screaming and, for those who like this kind of thing, a baby crying its fucking head off. The movie is really pretty though. Except when someone gets his head bashed in with a giant hammer. #squish
One thing that did bother me here is – if this festival only happens every 90 years and this particular group of swedes only live to be 72, then the people who are to do this next time haven’t been born yet and they have learn the ritual through the translations of greasy paint smears by the deformed prophet? That seems like a big stretch.
You know what?? EVEN WHEN THERE’S NO ONE IN THE FUCKING BUILDING THERE’S ALWAYS SOMEONE IN THE TOILET TAKING A SHIT!!! FUCK! STINKING BASTARDS! that’s it. I quit. Midsommar is good but pretty gros in spots.