Isaacs Picture Conclusions

CRAWL (2019) SCODELARIO VS. THE ALLIGATORS

Let’s start this off with a few quick remarks about some things. I don’t know shitfuck about alligators except that they are the reason I don’t go into fresh bodies of water. I don’t know that if they bite your arm your arm comes clean off or not. I don’t know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile. I don’t know why I get in trouble for calling people that live in England “British ” and I don’t know what the difference is between “riding a horse ” and “showing a horse”. I do know that I think Scodelario is one of the best last names out there and, despite some huge mistakes in this movie, I really enjoyed it. Also, yesterday I learned what an Oxford Comma is, so there’s that.

I guess let’s also get some of the negatives out of the way…

  • Scodelario and her dad – Barry Pepper for some reason – are trapped in a crawlspace underneath a house while a F5 hurricane rages above them, smashing trees and overturning cars but there’s an awful lot of sunshine lighting everything up through those architectural gaps in the brickwork.
  • Scodelario is presented as a super fast swimmer in the opening. She gets bit in the leg and can still outswim alligators?
  • Didn’t that boat get eaten by a gator when they were trying to steal the ATM?
  • Didn’t she get bit in the arm?
  • Are there that many giant alligators swimming around this town?

I don’t know why the spacing in that first bullet is so off so I’m sorry if that upsets your OCD. Since I’m doing this on my phone now, here’s a sentence using predictive text only: the other way and then I love the idea and it looks good luck and the best thing.

For the rest of the movie, I thought the pace was good (for the most part), this thing had some good blood effects, the CGI wasn’t shit, and Scodelario rocked it. Even though she got the lower half of her arm chomped on by a giant killer alligator and it never seemed to bother her one bit. I read some comment somewhere that this really, really bothered someone but *shrugs* what is this, a fucking documentary? Get over it, buddy. P.S. I used an Oxford Comma inthat last paragraph.

After all if that I really don’t have much else to say. I was entertained for sure. It had a handful of mistakes but ok. There ware a couple of questionable stops in the action but overall I thought it was a good one. It’s totally better than some of the shit I’ve seen, like Mad Cowgirl.

6 comments

  1. Tom

    Lol!!! @ the insertion of a line of predictive text. Man, fuck phones. they think they know what we’re thinking but being who I am, I often contradict the f**k out of my phone and leave it exasperated and twitching on the floor.

    Never saw this movie. I kind of want to just because I heard Barry Pepper gets his shit slung pretty hard in it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seriously – what’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?? I suppose I could Google that if I wasn’t so fucking lazy. I suppose Alligator Dundee sounds stupid. Oh, and English people are British. Hey – I’ve done my entire blog on a phone (one with a cracked screen for two years now). Fun stuff! 😉 #OneFingerTyping

    Liked by 1 person

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