Category Archives: 2012

THE INNKEEPERS (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

January 29, 2016 by theipc

Another oldie from the IPC golden year of 2012 : ) Jut look at all of those quotation marks… I have been waiting for this movie to be released for a year or so and Ti West’s The Innkeepers is finally out. I have seen a couple of his movies, one I really, really liked – The House of the Devil, the other is Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever which I didn’t care too much for, but I don’t think it’s West’s […]

Categories: 2012, Four Top Hats, No Boobs, Thriller • Tags: Ghost Story, Haunted Hotel, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Kelly McGillis, Madeline O'Malley, Pat Healy, Sara Paxton, The Innkeepers Movie Review, Ti West

ANGST (2003) TWO TOP HATS

January 27, 2016 by theipc

Not that I’m being too lazy but I haven’t been around a laptop that I can do WordPress on in weeks and I have forsaken trying to do a post on my phone or ipad… I don’t know how you guys do it. Plus, no one but one person has ever gone back and read the old shit so here’s something fun only one person has ever seen, complete with a homemade movie poster I did when I was trying […]

Categories: 2012, Boobs, GROSS!!, HUH???, Two Top Hats • Tags: #tacos, Angry Vaginas, Angst (2003) Movie Review, Boobs, Dennis Conway, Fiona Horsey, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Man Eating Vaginas, The Chambermaid, Twisted Sisters

GIRLS GONE DEAD (2012) THREE TOP HATS

January 21, 2016 by theipc

I was looking for a new movie in iTunes for my trip home tomorrow and saw that this thing from 2012 is in the “recent bestsellers” category so I thought I would issue out a warning …. Good luck! I was going to finish the week off with another retro post but it is Friday and The Good and Off Work Reader might be looking for something new to watch this weekend and might be getting ready to pull the […]

Categories: 2012, Boobs, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, Brandy Whitford, Caley Hayes, Girls Gone dead (2012) Movie Review, Katie Peterson, Krystyna Ahlers, Linnea Quigley, Not Very Good, Ryan Keely, Shea Stewart

DEVIL WEEK 2015: DEVIL SEED (2012) THREE TOP HATS

August 27, 2015 by theipc

This also appears to be called The Devil in Me (but I guess that name was too close to something that got a LOT of bad press) so they either changed it to The Darkness (or that’s what it’s called elsewhere) and then DEVIL SEED. BUT – this gets one of those, well, shrug, eh, I’ve seen much worse. No offense to any Limp Bizkit fans, but this reminds me of any L.B. song; it’s good but there’s something about it that is not […]

Categories: 2012, Boobs, Devil Week, Ghosts, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SATAN!, Three Top Hats • Tags: Danielle White, Demons, Devil Seed Movie Review, Exorcism, Kevin Jake Walker, Michelle Argyris, Old Scratch, Piss, Shantelle Canzanese, The Darkness Movie Review, The Devil in Me Movie Review, Vanessa Broze

ATM (2012) TWO TOP HATS

August 19, 2015 by theipc

I put off renting this movie for a few weeks since I saw it pop up on iTunes because, honestly, I didn’t want to spend the “pre-theatrical release” rental fee for a movie about three people trapped in an enclosed ATM kiosk with someone out there silently threatening to kill them. I thought the trailer looked decent enough but I just didn’t feel like justifying the dough for a movie about three people trapped in an ATM structure. With some […]

Categories: 2012, Hostages, Two Top Hats • Tags: Alice Eve, ATM Movie Review, Brian Geraghty, Josh Peck, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid

(REC) 3: GENESIS (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

January 14, 2015 by theipc

*In honor of the post I want to try and make for tomorrow – here’s my old thoughts on (REC) 3: GENESIS – SPOILER: I LOVED IT!* I’m happy to report back that, after all of the wait for this entry into the series, this was totally worth it, completely bloody, very gory and pretty awesome! If you’re new around here or missed my thoughts on the first two they can be found here: THE DOUBLE FEATURE: (REC) & (REC) 2 […]

Categories: 2012, Four Top Hats, Spanish, The Triple Play, Very Gory, Zombies • Tags: (REC) 3 Genesis Movie Review, Diego Martín, Javier Botet, Leticia Dolera, Paco Plaza, Pretty Awesome, The (REC) Movie Franchise Reviewed, Very Gory

JIMMY TUPPER VS THE GOATMAN OF BOWIE (2010)

September 9, 2014 by theipc

I had to make my own screenshots for a movie last week and, as I was flipping through the images on my iPad, I found some old grabs I made for this and thought I would re-publish for the newer Most Beloveds. This is one of those movies that I find difficult to talk about. Well – not difficult to TALK about because I can have a couple of drinks and run my mouth to no end – or, in […]

Categories: 2012, Found Footage, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Andrew Bowser, Brittany Latorre, Found Footage, Jimmy Tupper vs The Goatman of Bowie Movie Review, Kind of Boring, Michael Eller, Rose Rodkey

MAGIC MIKE (2012) ONE STRATEGICALLY PLACED TOP HAT

June 13, 2014 by table9mutant

Magic Mike (2012) Directed by Steven Soderbergh Starring: Channing Tatum Alex Pettyfer Cody Horn Matt Bomer Olivia Munn Joe Manganiello Matthew McConaughey Running time: 110 minutes Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia) The plot revolves around Adam, a 19-year-old who enters the world of male stripping, guided by Mike Lane, who has been in the business for six years. The film is loosely based on the experiences of Channing Tatum, who was an 18-year-old stripper in Tampa, Florida. A Word Before The […]

Categories: 2012, Boobs, HUH???, Movie Reviews, One Top Hat, WOAH! • Tags: 2012, Alex Pettyfer, Bums, Channing Tatum, Chris Hemsworth, Cinema Parrot Disco, Cock, Cody Horn, Coyote Ugly, Eric Loves Matthew McConaughey, Full Metal Jacket, Humping Around, I LOVE CHRIS HEMSWORTH, Joe Manganiello Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike, Matt Bomer, Me So Horny, Movies, Naked, Naked Torsos, Olivia Munn, One Top Hat, Review, Steven Soderbergh, Strippers, This Movie Sucks

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STATIC (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

October 11, 2013 by theipc

I don’t normally post twice in one day but since everyone already knew I loved GRAVITY, here’s something else to talk about. Plus, I am going to keep this pretty short since there’s probably not a decent way to go about this without giving it all away. I liked this movie – kind of a lot – but I don’t think it’s going to be for everyone… it’s slow (which I like), the characters don’t do stupid shit, it looks […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Thriller • Tags: Home Invasion, I've Seen Much Much Worse, Milo Ventimiglia, No Boobs, Not Too Bad, Sara Paxton, Sarah Shahi, Static 2012 Movie Review, William Mapother, You Can Do Worse Than This

A QUICKIE WITH MRS. THE IPC: THE EXPENDABLES 2

July 28, 2013 by theipc

This segment is to try and prove to people that I don’t only watch horseshit, non-mainstream movies and that I’m not totally insane. LOL (The next morning) MRS. THE IPC: What did you think about that movie last night? ME: It was totally ridiculous. ME: But I guess it was kind of fun… MRS. THE IPC: I suppose that’s all it was meant to be. ME: (LOLs) Chuck Norris killes everyone with one bullet!! ME: Silly. MRS. THE IPC: “I’ll […]

Categories: 2012, Action, Drive - In, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Quickies, Three Minute Review, Very Gory • Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Big Schwartzie, Bruce Willis, Bullets and Brawn, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jet Li, Man Boobs Only, Pretty Stupid But Entertaining In A Way, Quickies, Randy Couture, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 2, You Wear Your Grand-Dad's Clothes

AND THE WINNER IS!!!!

June 10, 2013 by theipc

Tim will receive a monetary exchange of 50 USD in some fashion after I get a chance to figure out how that works!!!!! Coming in with a tie for second place is: We receive nothing but good feelings from across the globe and maybe we do a little pouting but we do get this: And, everyone who wants one gets one of these beauties: I understand people have their sites the way they want to and are anal about them, […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, 20s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, Cannibal Bastards, Drama, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Population Sample, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher • Tags: SHITFEST 2013!, SHITFEST 2014, YOU ARE AWESOME!!

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 21: THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012)

May 18, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: HEAD IN A VICE The Devil Inside was made on a $1 million budget and went on to score a huge box office return. A few films over the years have opened on similar micro-budgets and gone on to make massive profits, whilst being at the very least good films. For example, The Blair Witch Project, Saw, Insidious – all made for similar amounts and all very highly rated by critics and fans within the genre. The Devil […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Evan Helmuth, Fernanda Andrade, Head in a Vice, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!, Simon Quarterman, Stupid, SUCKY, Terrible, The Devil Inside Movie Review, Tyson Carter

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: APOLLO 18 (2011) TWO TOP HATS

April 23, 2013 by theipc

Are you familiar with this? Some U.S. astronauts head to the moon and run into some creepy crawlies. It has some good things about it but otherwise it was pretty sorry and, granted I missed the first few minutes dealing with the lawn guys, but after this found footage was finally over I was left with just one fucking question: if all of this took place up in space and on the moon, and that’s how it ended – how […]

Categories: 2012, Found Footage, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Sci - Fi, Two Top Hats • Tags: Apollo 18 Movie Review, Found Footage, LAME!!!, NO FUCKING BOOBS!, Not Very Good, Sci-Fi, Space, The Moon

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: ZERO DARK THIRTY (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

April 8, 2013 by theipc

What can I say about this that hasn’t already been said by 12,803,995 better bloggers??Yeah, sure – it’s real good. Jessica Chastain is hot and acts her ass off. So does a guy named Jason Clarke. But it’s also about an hour too long, were those torture scenes REEEEEEEEAAALLLLYYY that necessary and everyone the principals talk about have those (no offense to any Arabic readers) (and no offense if I’ve used the term “Arabic” incorrectly) those long Arabic names that […]

Categories: 2012, Drama, Four Top Hats, Hostages, Movie Reviews • Tags: Chris Pratt, Harold Perrineau, Iraq War, James Gandolfini, Jason Clarke, Jennifer Ehle, Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton, John Barrowman, Kathryn Bigelow, Kyle Chandler, The Three Minute Review, Zero Dark Thirty

A RETROSPECTIVE: ISAACS INTERVIEWS LIL PEE PEE!!!

April 4, 2013 by theipc

I’ve gotten a bunch of new readers lately – I am not sure how but I wanted to tell you how awesome you all are and that when I tell you I love you, that doesn’t mean I am IN LOVE with you or that I want to make it with you, it just means that I can’t even believe that you all spend five minutes out here with my shit and I love it and APPRECIATE every second you spend here. […]

Categories: 2012, Five Top Hats, Isaacs Interviews • Tags: 2012, ISAACS INTERVIEWS, LIL PEE PEE, YOU PEOPLE ROCK!!!

THE PAPERBOY (2012) THREE TOP HATS

April 3, 2013 by theipc

Do you remember dreams from when you were a kid? I do – dreams have always played a big part in my life. It’s not like I just sit around thinking of old nightmares, sometimes they just pop up in my head and I can recall them. Watching this, I remembered an old nightmare I had back when I was probably around nine or ten. In it, the premise was that all of the really popular comedy stars of the […]

Categories: 2012, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Blow Jobs, John Cusack, Lee Daniels, Macy Gray, Matthew McConaughey, Murder!!, Nealla Gordon, Nicole Kidman, Paperboys, Piss, Scott Glenn, The Paperboy 2012 Movie Review, Zac Efron

LOOPER (2012) FIVE POCKET WATCHES

March 25, 2013 by theipc

I’ll be honest – I had been reading so many good reviews about this movie that it was really putting me off watching it. Plus – what’s up with Gordon’s nose prosthetic?? Warily I rented this a month or so ago and, excuse my French, but GOD DAMN this was awesome!!! I know there’s some plot holes and scientific irregularities but, this was all kinds of right up broadway, for me!! Wicked ass action, cool story telling, excellent use of […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Sci - Fi, Thriller • Tags: Bad Ass-ness, Bloody, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Excellent, Garret Dillahunt, Jeff Daniels, Joseph Gordon Lewis, Looper Movie Review, Noah Segan, Paul Dano, Piper Perabo, Science Fiction, The Rainmaker, Time Travel, Tracie Thoms

BEYOND THE HILLS (2012)

March 23, 2013 by theipc

Let’s start this out by reinstating that in no way do I now, or would I ever, consider myself a film critic. I’m a guy that likes to drink beer and watch movies and, a long time ago, started writing about them on iWeb and them moved them over here to WordPress. I like movies to be fun and I like to see people having fun making them and being in them and I typically avoid watching, must less writing about, […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Drama, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Two Top Hats • Tags: Boring, LAME!!!, Movies

GIRLS AGAINST BOYS (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

March 8, 2013 by theipc

People are always going to agree and disagree on things – it’s how we exist and computers control our every move. I’m all about honesty here, you can even check out my slogan by clicking on one of the beautiful header images above and going to my “home” page. Anyway – when I watch a movie I judge on how much it entertains me; I don’t have a checklist or anything to keep tic marks on while I sit through […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Thriller • Tags: Austin Chick, Danielle Panabaker, Dark, Girls Against Boys Movie Review, Lauren Ashleigh, Liam Aiken, Michael Stahl-David, Nicole LaLiberte, Revenge, Sleek and Sexy, Teena Byrd, Thriller, Wicked Fun Score

RED LIGHTS (2012) TWO OR THREE TOP HATS

February 12, 2013 by theipc

*MINOR SPOILERS BELOW* I’ve seen a lot of people posting about this movie over the last few months, mostly because everyone in the world loves Robert DeNiro and wanted a chance to catch him in something good and not MEET THE FOCKERS AT THE HOSPITAL CAFETERIA. It’s been almost unanimous, from those of you who I read, that everyone has been all “this was going good until the end” or “this film didn’t know how it wanted to end” or, like TYSON wrote “THIS […]

Categories: 2012, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Bobby DeNiro, Cillian Murphy, Clairvoyants, Elizabeth Olsen, Joely Richardson, LAME!!!, Pyschic, Red Lights Movie Review, Sigourney Weaver, Stupid Ending, Thriller, Toby Jones

TAKEN 2 (2012) TWO TOP HATS

February 5, 2013 by theipc

I want to go on record with this thing and admit that I have nothing but love for Liam Neeson and Luc Besson, I like Maggie Grace and I have always enjoyed D.B. Sweeney’s shit – but this movie from Olivier Megaton sucks it. I mean – the wife and I spent a lot of time LAUGHING during this – and this is in no way a comedy. Tons of other people have already written about this and I don’t think […]

Categories: 2012, Hostages, I'm Stupid, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: D.B. Sweeney, Famke Janssen, LAME!!!, Liam Neeson, Luc Besson, Maggie Grace, Olivier Megaton, Pretty Awful, Rade Serbedzija, Taken 2 Movie Review

SOUND OF MY VOICE (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

February 2, 2013 by theipc

I normally don’t post newish things on Saturday because I don’t get a lot of visitors on the weekends but, I thought this could use some publicity (such as it is) and hope to try and find someone else who might have seen this to talk about it. I totally liked this a LOT but I think this is going to be seen in two ways: A well filmed, good looking, well acted movie with a ton of unanswered questions […]

Categories: 2012, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Thriller • Tags: Avery Kristen Pohl, Brit Marling, Christopher Denham, Christy Meyers, Cults, Nicole Vicius, Sound of My Voice Movie Review, Spirituality, Terrorism, Time Travel, Worm Eating, Zal Batmanglij

DREDD (2012) FOUR JUDGE MASKS

January 28, 2013 by theipc

WOAH! I know a lot of people I read went to see this in the theater and (I think) the response was pretty positive all around. I thought it looked like nothing but 3D gimmickry – which not only puts me out to no end but also irritates me and pushes me AWAY from a movie – so I opted to give this one a big skip. After watching this today, I wish I had made a different decision because I would […]

Categories: 2012, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Sci - Fi, Very Gory • Tags: Bloody as fuck, Dredd 2012 Movie Review, Jason Cope, Judge Dredd, Karl Urban, Lena Headey, Olivia Thirlby, Pete Travis, Slo-Mo, Super Hero, The Hall of Justice, Warrick Grier, Wood Harris

HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET (2012) THBTHTBTHTTHBTHTBHTBHTBHTBTH

January 14, 2013 by theipc

So yeah. I know no one is going to believe me (Tyson) about this – but here’s the thing. I had to take the day off the other day to be home while the chimney people came to fix the back of our chimney. I sat there for a while doing some work while they cleaned everything out and pulled out bricks and such and then I got seriously bored, so I thought I would watch something on TV. I […]

Categories: 2012, I'm Stupid, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: Allie MacDonald, Boring, Elizabeth Shue, Eva Link, Gil Bellows, Hailee Sisera, Jennifer Lawrence, Jordan Hayes, Krista Bridges, Max Thieriot, Nonsense!!, Nothing, Stupid, The House at the End of the Street 2012, Vapid