Category Archives: SHITFEST 2015

AND THE SHITFEST 2015 WINNER IS!!!!

March 20, 2015 by theipc

Please congratulate a person with a penis (I think) winning the contest the chicks have ruled for three straight seasons. Good job, lads!! Here’s some Shitfest Stats for you: England – 3 wins Canada – 1 Win U.S. – 1 Win I shall now head into my basement dungeon and begin heating up the coals and casting two of the most evil trophies of the 21st Century!!!! THIS HAS BEEN EPIC BOYS AND GIRLS!!!! THANK YOU ALL!!! I see in […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Boobs, Cannibal Bastards, Death and Destruction, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, I LOVED IT, JIZZ, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015, Vampires, WHOSE BOOBS???, WOAH! • Tags: 2 & 3!, 50 Shades of Grey, ABDUCTION 2011, Alien Origin (2012), AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982), AMY RYAN, Amy Ryan's boobs, Amy Ryan's tits, AUSTRALIA (2008), BOO (2005), boob boob boobs, Boobs, BOYHOOD (2014), Butts, Charlize Theron, Charlize Theron's boobs, Charlize Theron's tits, Christina Hendricks, Christina Hendricks's boobs, Christina Hendricks's tits, CLOSING CEREMONY, diary of the dead 2007, Dongs, DRAG ME TO HELL, Dreamcatcher (2003), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977), Five Top Hats, FRANKENSTEIN (2014), GREEN STREET (2005), HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, HOUSE OF THE DEAD, I, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE, I Loved It, INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008), Jessica Biel, JESSICA BIEL'S BOOBS, Jessica Biel's tits, JUPITER ASCENDING (2015), Kaley Cuoco, Kaley Cuoco's boobs, Kaley Cuoco's tits, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale's boobs, Kate Beckinsale's tits, Keira Knightley, Keira Knightley's boobs, Keira Knightley's tits, Lake Bell, lake bell's boobs, Lake Bell's tits, Madonna, Madonna's boobs, Madonna's tits, MARAUDERS (1986) & GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE (2011), MARK WALKER’S TEN GREATEST SHITFACED MOMENTS, MOVIE 43, MRS. THE IPC AND THE SPRAY CANDY, preservation 2014, puss, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), ROBOCOP 1, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar's boobs, Sarah Michelle Gellar's tits, sex tape 2014, shitfest 2015, SNOWPIERCER (2013), SOLARIS (2002), SPIDER-MAN (2002), star wars 1977, superman 1978, THE EXPENDABLES (2010), THE HOBBIT~THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (2014), THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE & HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, THE OPENING CEREMONY!, THE SHITFEST 2015 WHOSE BOOBS CONTEST!, tits, TROLL 2 (1990), WALKING ON SUNSHINE BULLSHIT (2014), weiners, WHOSE BOOBS CHAMP, WHOSE BOOBS More stats, WRONG TURN 6 (2014) & HOUSE OF BAD (2013)

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THE SHITFEST 2015: CLOSING CEREMONY!

March 13, 2015 by theipc

Well, My Most Beloveds, we have come to the end….. as legendary as this Shitfest was, we knew it had to end sometime…… and this is it…. this is a sad day but, thankfully, it’s not totally over yet! We still have to crown the One True Champion! As you know – we are all competing for the most sought after statue in all of filmdom and, as a reminder, here are some statements from past winners: TIM THE FILM […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Boobs, Cannibal Bastards, Cenobites, Death and Destruction, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, Half Ass Reviews, I LOVED IT, JB & THE CHOP, JIZZ, Movie Reviews, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: 2 & 3!, 50 Shades of Grey, ABDUCTION 2011, Alien Origin (2012), AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982), AUSTRALIA (2008), BOO (2005), Boobs, BOYHOOD (2014), Butts, CLOSING CEREMONY, diary of the dead 2007, Dongs, DRAG ME TO HELL, Dreamcatcher (2003), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977), FRANKENSTEIN (2014), GREEN STREET (2005), HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, HOUSE OF THE DEAD, I, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE, INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008), JUPITER ASCENDING (2015), MARAUDERS (1986) & GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE (2011), MARK WALKER’S TEN GREATEST SHITFACED MOMENTS, MOVIE 43, MRS. THE IPC AND THE SPRAY CANDY, preservation 2014, puss, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), ROBOCOP 1, sex tape 2014, shitfest 2015, SNOWPIERCER (2013), SOLARIS (2002), SPIDER-MAN (2002), star wars 1977, superman 1978, THE EXPENDABLES (2010), THE HOBBIT~THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (2014), THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE & HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, THE OPENING CEREMONY!, THE SHITFEST 2015 WHOSE BOOBS CONTEST!, tits, TROLL 2 (1990), WALKING ON SUNSHINE BULLSHIT (2014), weiners, WHOSE BOOBS CHAMP, WRONG TURN 6 (2014) & HOUSE OF BAD (2013)

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THE SHITFEST 2015: WHOSE BOOBS CHAMPION!

March 12, 2015 by theipc

The moment you’ve all been waiting for! DUM DUM DUM TA DUM!!! The winner and Grand Champion of the First Annual WHOSE BOOBS contest is none other than Chris / Rincewind of EROTIXX. (Be careful if you click that link, his site is even more NSFW than mine!) That doesn’t come as a huge surprise as he’s been boobing it up longer than I ever put a pair out here. And, not even more surprisingly, he got ALL TEN! I […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, Excitement, Five Top Hats, I LOVED IT, SHITFEST 2015, WHOSE BOOBS???, WOAH! • Tags: AMY RYAN, Amy Ryan's boobs, Amy Ryan's tits, boob boob boobs, Charlize Theron, Charlize Theron's boobs, Charlize Theron's tits, Christina Hendricks, Christina Hendricks's boobs, Christina Hendricks's tits, Five Top Hats, I Loved It, Jessica Biel, JESSICA BIEL'S BOOBS, Jessica Biel's tits, Kaley Cuoco, Kaley Cuoco's boobs, Kaley Cuoco's tits, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale's boobs, Kate Beckinsale's tits, Keira Knightley, Keira Knightley's boobs, Keira Knightley's tits, Lake Bell, lake bell's boobs, Lake Bell's tits, Madonna, Madonna's boobs, Madonna's tits, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar's boobs, Sarah Michelle Gellar's tits, shitfest 2015, WHOSE BOOBS

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SHITFEST 2015: MOVIE 43 (2013)

March 11, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE BRILLIANT: Before we get into this mercilessly shit movie, I have an announcement to make. This is the last movie entry for Shitfest 2015! Tomorrow will be the big WHOSE BOOBS reveal and champion and Friday will be the big Closing Ceremony! I can’t thank you all enough for all of the support this year! This has been incredibly fun! But more on that Friday!! Here we go (oh – and the Stone pictures are […]

Categories: 2015, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, HUH???, JIZZ, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: Aaron Jennings, Aaron LaPlante, Aasif Mandvi, Adam Cagley, Alex Cranmer, Anna Faris, Anna Madigan, Arthur French, Austin Cope, Benny Harris, Beth Littleford, Bobby Cannavale, Brett Davern, Brian Flaccus, Bronwyn Cornelius, Caryl West, Cathy Cliften, Charlie Saxton, Cherina Monteniques Scott, Chloe Grace Moretz, Chris Pratt, Christina Linhardt, Christopher Kirby, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Coleen Hoffman, Common, Corey Brewer, Darby Lynn Totten, Davi Shane, Dennis Quaid, Devin Eash, Ed Blythe, Eddie Napolillo, Elbe Van Der Merwe, Elizabeth Banks, Emily Alyn Lind, Emma Stone, Eric Stuart, Esti Ginzburg, Evan Dumouchel, George Paez, Gerard Butler, Greg Kinnear, Greg Oliver Bodine, Halle Berry, Hash Patel, Hugh Jackman, J.B. Smoove, Jack McBrayer, James Hsu, Jared Dudley, Jaron Henrie-McCrea, Jarrad Paul, Jarrett Carter, Jason Sudeikis, Jasper Grey, Jay Ellis, Jeremy Allen White, Jimmy Bennett, John Hodgman, Johnny Knoxville, Josh Duhamel, Josh Shuman, Julie Ann Emery, Julie Claire, Julie McNiven, JUSTIN LONG, Kate Bosworth, Kate Winslet, Katie Finneran, Katrina Bowden, Kieran Culkin, Kristen Bell, Kurt Leitner, Larry Eugene Sanders II, Leslie Bibb, Liev Schreiber, Liz Carey, Logan Holladay, Mandy Kowalski, Marc Ambrose, Maria Arcé, Mark L. Young, Martin Klebba, Martin Pfefferkorn, Matt Walsh, Michael Marrio, Michelle Gunn, Mike Meldman, Monique Delee, Montana Byrne, Naomi Watts, Nate Hartley, Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Nicole Joy Tan, Odessa Rae, Olivia Roberts Payne, Paloma Felisberto Bilson, Patrick Warburton, Phil Crowley, Phillip Michaels, Raven Burnett, Richard Gere, Ricki Lander, Rightor Doyle, Rocky Russo, Roy Jenkins, Sara Kessler, Sayed Badreya, Sean Rosales, Seann William Scott, Sebastian Banes, Seth MacFarlane, Stephen Merchant, Terrence Howard, Tony Shalhoub, Uma Thurman, Victor Pagan, Vincent Ortega, Will Carlough, Will Sasso, Zach Lasry, Zen Gesner

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SHITFEST 2015: EXORCIST II ~ THE HERETIC (1977)

March 10, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY BRIAN’S BETTER HALF, BRAD OF: Pazuzu: Greetings! What an excellent day for a review of Exorcist II: The Heretic, starring me, Pazuzu. After my first film classic directed by William Friedkin and co-starring Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn and Jason Miller… Father Merrin: Don’t forget about me demon! Pazuzu: Yes of course, Swedish actor extraordinaire, Max von Sydow! Who is joining me in this delightful critique of the universally loathed sequel to our beloved horror […]

Categories: 2015, 70s, HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: cockroaches, exorcist 2: the heretic, HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO, i'd do regan, James Earl Jones, John Boorman, Kitty Winn, Linda Blair, Louise Fletcher, Max von Sydow, NED BEATTY, negligees, No Boobs, Paul Henreid, Pazuzu, pouty lips, Regan MacNeil, Richard Burton, satan and his pals, shitfest 2015, windy rooftops

SHITFEST 2015: THE EXPENDABLES (2010)

March 9, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE VOLUPTUOUS: Shitfest 2015 – The Expendables Once upon a time, a young man named Sylvester Stallone had dreams of becoming a film star. It was a good dream and over the years he made that dream come true. But as he was getting older, he realized that he had so much more to give. After all, he had had a long and storied career, one that any up and coming actor or actress could […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Death and Destruction, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015, WOAH! • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, action movies, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Antonio Banderas, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Big Schwartzie, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, Bruce Willis, Bullets and Brawn, Chuck Norris, Colleen Camp, DANGER!!!, Dolph Lundgren, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Glen Powell, guns and explosions, Half Ass Reviews, Harrison Ford, Intrigue, Jan de Bont, Jared The Subway Guy!!, Jason Patric, Jason Statham, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Kelsey Grammer, KISS BOOTS!!, Lois Chiles, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, Man Boobs Only, MAYHEM!!, Mel Gibson, Mike Hagerty, MISERABLE, no boobs anywhere, Not Very Good, Pretty Stupid, Pretty Stupid But Entertaining In A Way, Quickies, Randy Couture, Ronda Rousey, Sandra Bullock, shitfest 2015, Sly Stallone, Speed 2: Cruise Control Movie Review, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, The Expendables 2, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Victor Ortiz, Wesley Snipes, Willem Dafoe, Wonder Woman!!, You Wear Your Grand-Dad's Clothes

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ANOTHER SHITFEST 2015 SUPPLEMENTAL! or (SCENES FROM THE FIRST DRAFT) STAR WARS (1977)

March 7, 2015 by theipc

At least one person has shown interest in this continuing after Shitfest so – let’s go ahead and call this “Scenes From the First Draft” and see what happens in the future : ) I was bored at work the other day so I did some research on the web and found something surprising in the first draft of the script for Star Wars (1977). I’m not sure why they cut this part out but I recreated it here for everyone […]

Categories: 2015, 80s, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Sci - Fi, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: Alec Guinness, alien buttholes, animal poo, Anthony Daniels, Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi, C. Thomas Howell, CARRIE FISHER, Dee Wallace, Drew Barrymore, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Erika Eleniak, first drafts, George Lucas, Grand Moff Tarkin, Han Solo, Harrison Ford, Henry Thomas, i'm dumb, incest, Kenny Baker, Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill, No Boobs, Nothing, Peter Coyote, Peter Cushing, Peter Mayhew, Princess Leia Organa, scenes from the first draft, shitfest 2015, star wars 1977, STEVEN SPIELBERG, supplementals, wookiees

SHITFEST 2015: SNOWPIERCER (2013)

March 6, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENORMOUS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE ENORMOUSLY TESTICLED BRIAN FROM: Snowpiercer: A Haiku-powered Journey “Train Kept A-Rollin” Train runs ‘round the world Every piece of track intact No need for upkeep “Around the World” What’s the point of the train going around the world? Small circle instead? “Caste System” Rich front, poor back, but why are there poor on the train in the first place, huh? “The Arm” Cold enough to freeze this guy’s arm off, but later we’ll just […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: ACTION AND DEATH, Alison Pill, brian hated it, Chris Evans, DON'T GET THE FUCKING ENDING, i thought it was ok, Jamie Bell, No Boobs, Not That Great, Octavia Spencer, SHIT EATING, shitfest 2015, SNOWPIERCER MOVIE, snowpiercer shitfest, Tilda Swinton, TRAINS

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SHITFEST 2015: SEX TAPE (2014)

March 5, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY MY BITCH: Digital Shortbread’s Shitfest 2015 entry — Sex Tape Release: Friday, July 18, 2014 [Netflix] The trickiest part about reviewing a movie like Sex Tape is doing it without giving myself an ulcer. Or a heart attack. Or without calling Cameron Diaz too many terribly degrading names. Or getting depressed that I actually watched this film, spent the money on it, spent the time on it, spent my brain cells on it, spent anything on […]

Categories: 2015, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, HUH???, JIZZ, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: Butts, Cameron Diaz, dicks, digital shortbead, Ellie Kemper, Jake Kasdan, Jason Segel, miley cyrus, no one has sex that much, Not Even Any Boobs, panties, Poundy Sex, Rob Corddry, rob lowe, sex and dick jokes, sex tape 2014, shitfest 2015, this movie sucked so bad

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A SHITFEST 2015 DOUBLE BILL: TROLL 2 (1990) AND MARAUDERS (1986)

March 4, 2015 by theipc

PART ONE OF THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE LOVELY: The other night I was minding my own business, drinking beer and I sent out a drunk Tweet to the gang concerning THIS POST. Shortly after that Tim came from out of nowhere and assaulted me, asking me when his post was going up and knocked over my glass of beer. The following is the exchange and what his intentions are for Shitfest 2015: @theipcdotme @MarkusMarakai @SporadicZoe @caragale123 @Kloipy when is our big […]

Categories: 2015, Australian, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, FUCKING TERRIBLE, No Boobs, Nothing, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: australian bastards, Bullshit, Colin Savage, Connie Young, Deborah Reed, George Hardy, ghost rider spirit of vengeance, i hate marauders, kidney and pappy, marauders 1986, marauders can burn in hell, Margo Prey, Mark Savage, Megan Spencer, Michael Stephenson, natasha kidney stander, nic cage peeing, No Boobs, Nothing, PAIN, shitfest 2015, terrible fucking shit, the ghost rider pisses, this movie is a bitch, troll 2, Zero Montana

SHITFEST 2015: A FIVE MOVIE QUINTET FROM VAMPIRE PLACEBO!

March 3, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE DELICIOUS: Shitfest Quintet Since I’m really not great at writing long reviews, I decided that I would do 5 mini-reviews instead. Enjoy! 🙂 House of 1000 Corpses So Rob Zombie made a movie? That’ll be awesome! *puts it in the dvd player* Oh, I’m sure it just starts slow… *waits* Any time now… *waits more* Oh look, gore… *waits* And, oh, more gore… *sighs* Maybe I’ve got some email to check… *heavy sighs* Or maybe […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Cannibal Bastards, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Ghosts, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015, Very Gory • Tags: a shitfest 2015 quintet!, Alison Lohman, antimacassars, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, ass to mouth, Bill Moseley, Birgit Stein, blond witches, Blood!!, Bojana Novakovic, Boobs, candy, Clint Howard, curses, destruction, Dieter Laser, Ellie Cornell, Enuka Okuma, Erica Durance, Erin Daniels, Famke Janssen, Gemma Arterton, gemma arterton boobs, gemma arterton is a babe, goats, GUNS, gypsies, hansel and gretel: witch hunters movie, horned witches, House of 1000 Corpses (2003), House of the Dead (2003), Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Jennifer Jostyn, Jeremy Renner, Joanna Kulig, Jonathan Cherry, JUSTIN LONG, Karen Black, Kira Clavell, mad scientists, man-fish, no bare boobs, Ona Grauer, Peter Stormare, Pihla Viitala, red witches, Rob Zombie, Ruth Livier, Satan and his Buddies, shit movies, shitfest 2015, Sid Haig, Sonya Salomaa, stitches, this post is great, toboggans, Tom Six, Tommy Wirkola, trolls, Tyron Leitso, uwe boll, vampire placebo, Walton Goggins, Witches!!, Zombies

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Shitfest 2015: Jupiter Ascending

March 2, 2015 by snapcracklewatch

I am so pleased to present Melissa from SNAP CRACKLE WATCH and her first ever post here!!!! A couple of weeks ago, I was super bored and I put my name in for a bunch of stupid contests from my local newspaper. To my surprise I won two tickets to see Jupiter Ascending. So last time I did this contest thing, I won tickets for Kill the Messenger. Bueller, Bueller, anyone seen that effing movie? Nope, because it was a […]

Categories: 2015, Action, HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Sci - Fi, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: Andy Wachowski (as The Wachowskis), BEES, boobs in space, Channing Tatum, Christina Cole, Eddie Redmayne, half-man half-dog, Lana Wachowski (as The Wachowskis), magic mike in space, meg in space, Mila Kunis, misery and bullshit, ned stark in space, Nikki Amuka-Bird, No Boobs, Sean Bean, shitfest 2015, this looks awful, Tuppence Middleton, what the fuck abrasax, what were they thinking

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ANOTHER SHITFEST 2015 SUPPLEMENTAL! SPIDER-MAN (2002)

February 28, 2015 by theipc

I was bored at work the other day so I did some research on the web and found something surprising in the first draft of the script for Spider-Man (2002). I’m not sure why they cut this part out but I recreated it here for everyone to see. Check it!

Categories: 2015, Action, Excitement, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: anuses, Bruce Campbell, Cliff Robertson, first drafts, James Franco, Kirsten Dunst, No Boobs, Pretty Good, Sam Raimi, shitfest 2015, spiderman 2002, spiders and goblins, Tobey Maguire, webslinger, Willem Dafoe

SHITFEST 2015: INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008)

February 27, 2015 by caragale

WHAT UP, SHITFESTERS? God, it feels good to throw Eric Isaacs back into his basement prison be welcomed back to The IPC with open arms to vent about another rancid film! For those of you who don’t know me, hello! My name is Cara, and I’d like to be your friend. Or, at the very least, I’d like you to listen to me rant. If you happen to enjoy my ranting and would like to read it on a regular […]

Categories: Death and Destruction, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Most Unclean, Nothing, Praise Be to The IPC, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: Cate Blanchett really shouldn't have signed up for this, FUCKING GOPHERS, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Mac < Sallah, Old Indy is the worst, Praise be to The IPC, Schuster Sister Shenanigans, Shia LaDouche, shitfest 2015, So Unnecessary, Steven Spielberg I hate you, Technology Fail, THIS MOVIE HURTS ME, WHY IS JOHN HURT IN THIS?, WTF IS THIS MONKEY SCENE

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SHITFEST 2015: DIARY OF THE DEAD (2007)

February 26, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE TASTY: When we heard that zombie king George A. Romero was making another zombie trilogy, after the impact of the first, I don’t think I’m the only person who touched themselves inappropriately. However, as the films eventually came out, we gasped in horror, not because they were scary or anything, but because they were horrifically shit and we realised that Romero had in fact lost it. A lot of people say Survival of the Dead […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, Found Footage, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2015, WHY???, Zombies • Tags: Amy Lalonde, Boobs, diary of the dead 2007, Found Footage, GEORGE ROMERO, i hated the characters, i've seen this and it can go fuck itself, Joshua Close, Laura de Carteret, Michelle Morgan, Shawn Roberts, shitfest 2015, Stupid, Tatiana Maslany, Terrible, This Movie Sucks

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SHITFEST 2015: MARK WALKER’S TOP TEN SHITFACED MOMENTS

February 25, 2015 by theipc

I’ve been doing this thing for a few years now and – when I think back about the past – one of the first people I met out here was Mark Walker (Marked Movies) or Muckers as I call him (that’s a Scottish thing, he says) (he got his Scottish hackles up one night when I called him “amigo” on Twitter). Anyway – you always remember your first LIKE out here (mine was from a rather defunct blog called Aloha […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, Cannibal Bastards, Death and Destruction, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Grindhouse, I LOVED IT, JIZZ, Most Unclean, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: @MarkusMarakai, amigos, benny boys, BOAT DRINKS, Boobs, BUCKWHEATS, butthole ashtray, cactus penis, cutty sark, dogshit, drunk people, drunks, FECAL FREAK, GIVE IT A NAME, i made my own beef jerky yesterday, irish whiskey, JIMMY THE SAINT, Loch Lomond, lonely sailors, Mark Walker's a Stud : ), MARKED MOVIES, montezuma's revenge, muckers, old friends, peyote, rumplemintz and goldschlager, Satan!!, scottish drunks, shitfaced scots, shitfest 2015, tattooed scotsman, the lost sailor, the pope

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SHITFEST 2015: DREAMCATCHER (2003)

February 24, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE HAIRY: Dreamcatcher? More like Nightmarepitcher! You see what I did there, took the name and… oh fuck it. I started this series off saying that I would not go easy on the bad ones and instead of writing up Stand By Me I decided I’ll make good with my promise with this festering Don Murphy (turd). Dreamcatcher is a movie that has no fucking idea what it wants to be. Is it a coming of […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Ghosts, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2015, Very Gory, WHY??? • Tags: aliens up your butt, Damian Lewis, Donnie Wahlberg, Dreamcatcher (2003), dreamcatchers, duddits, I HATE THIS MOVIE'S GUTS, Jason Lee, Lawrence Kasdan, Morgan Freeman, No Boobs, Rosemary Dunsmore, shit and blood, shitfest 2015, Stupid, Terrible, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Tom Sizemore, Why??

SHITFEST 2015: ALIEN ORIGIN (2012)

February 23, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE DELECTABLE: Here we are at another round of Shitfest! In the last few months of 2014, I did encounter a few really bad movies (I’m looking at you Bloody Mary) that would have fit the bill for this perfectly. Except it was so bad, that most of them, I already reviewed with so little effort because that was already more than it deserved. Coming around to this time’s Shitfest, I already had a good idea […]

Categories: 2015, HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Sci - Fi, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: 1point5 on IMDB!, Alien Origin (2012), Aliens, Chelsea Vincent, Daniela Flynn, Eric Darins, Looks Terrible, No Boobs, Philip Coc, shitfest 2015, this looks like the worst movie ever, tranquil dreams

ANOTHER SHITFEST 2015 SUPPLEMENTAL! RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)

February 21, 2015 by theipc

I was bored at work the other day so I did some research on the web and found something surprising in the first draft of the script for Raiders of the lost Ark (1981). I’m not sure why they cut this part out but I recreated it here for everyone to see. Check it!

Categories: 2015, 80s, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Sci - Fi, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: beetles and jeeps, first drafts, Harrison Ford, John Rhys-Davies, Karen Allen, monkeys!, No Boobs, Paul Freeman, plans and drinking, Raiders of the Lost Ark, shitfest 2015, STEVEN SPIELBERG, supplementals, whips and snakes

Shitfest 2015: 50 Shades of Grey

February 20, 2015 by lukebbtt

WRITTEN BY: I have a special exclusive for you today at the Shitfest headquarters. I went to the producers of 50 Shades of Grey and offered to do them some publicity on a renowned journalist’s site, called Isaacs Picture Conclusions. They never heard of it before (luckily), but because the Hipster phase is in full swing, they pretended to read it all the time and signed up for an article on the site. Therefore, today, I am going to write […]

Categories: SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: 50 Shades of Grey, Bane, Dr Dre, Nigel Thornberry, ORACLE OF FILM, Sequels, SHITFEST!!, Spiderman, Surprisingly No Boobs Despite Being a 50 Shades of Grey article

SHITFEST 2015: ABDUCTION (2011)

February 19, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE YUMMY: Abduction (2011) So, a couple of weeks back, my writing partner, S-Littner and I were ready for a solid night of entertainment, preparing ourselves to start the sexy new season of the anime Highschool DxD. Those familiar with the series probably know exactly what we were anticipating. But those who don’t know anything about the concept and whatnot, these couple of images should give you a vague idea as to what this action-packed show […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, FUCKING TERRIBLE, HUH???, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: ABDUCTION 2011, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs (No Relation), Lily Collins, Maria Bello, MISERABLE, No Boobs, shit, shitfest 2015, Sigourney Weaver, SOUNDS LIKE SHIT, STUPID MOVIE, Taylor Lautner, this is the second time for abduction to make shitfest

A SHITFEST 2015 TRIPLE FEATURE! BOO, WRONG TURN 6 AND HOUSE OF BAD

February 18, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY: WHAT THE FUCK??? I spent my hard earned money on renting this shit??? God damn I’m stupid. Horrible from start to finish, this movie stinks more than a homeless man’s underwear. Or even Tim’s. In fact, while I am not a violent person in any way, unless you plan to harm my loved ones, I am going to go ahead and challenge this movie to a fist fight. BOO movie – I’ll be waiting in Britton Circles […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Cannibal Bastards, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Ghosts, Hostages, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2015, The Triple Play, WHY??? • Tags: Anthony C. Ferrante, Anthony Ilott, Aqueela Zoll, bad haircuts, blaxploitation, boo 2005 movie, boo on boo the 2005 movie, Boobs, Cheryl Bonty, cheryl bonty's boobs, Chris Jarvis, clean abandoned house, drinking blood, EASTERN EUROPEANS, eastern europeans having sex, fucking cannibals, ghost, Heather L. Tyler, heroin, hilbilly sex, house of bad is a terrible movie, house of bad movie, incest, Insane Asylum, Jilon VanOver, LOTS O BOOBS, makes no fucking sense, MISERABLE, miserable cgi, Nicole Rayburn, nipples, no boobs in boo, pimp, Rachel Harland, Rachel Melvin, Roxanne Pallett, Sadie Katz, sadie katz' boobs, sex with sister, sex with underwear on, Shirlene Quigley, shitfest 2015, Small Cast, stirrups, Strippers, telephones, Terri Novak, Terrible, terrible terrible terrible, Three Fingers, Trish Coren, wrong turn 6: last resort, wrong turn six franchise

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SHITFEST 2015: Money Making Trilogies/Franchises: How they ruin perfect movies with Unnecessary Sequels.

February 17, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY: Money Making Trilogies/Franchises: How they ruin perfect movies with Unnecessary Sequels. The Rebooting/restructuring/de-Murphying/re-memorizing/rebuilding manipulations of Detroit’s Noble Hero: Alex Murphy (RoboCop) Need to Know: Movies: RoboCop 1, 2, and 3; Directors: Paul Verhoeven (First), Irvin Kershner (Second), and Fred Dekker (Third); Key Players (Actors and Actresses): Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Dad from That 70’s Show (first), Belinda Bauer, Tom Noonan (Second), and Robert Burke, Remy Ryan, Rip Torn, and the Stapler Guy from Office […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Boobs, Death and Destruction, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: Belinda Bauer, blown off hand, Boobs, Dan O'Herlihy, Fred Dekker, Irvin Kershner, Jodi Long, John Glover, Kurtwood Smith, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Machado, Miguel Ferrer, Nancy Allen, nancy allen's tits, Paul Verhoeven, Peter Weller, Ray Wise, Remy Ryan, Robert John Burke, robocop, robocop 2, robocop 3, Ronny Cox, Sequels, shitfest 2015, Tom Noonan, trilogies

SHITFEST 2015: GREEN STREET (2005)

February 16, 2015 by theipc

THIS POST BROUGHT YOU BY THE LOVELY: Thank you very much Eric for inviting me to join in with Shitfest! It’s a real honour. I’d be lying if I said it had all been fun and games though. I actually struggled for ages to come up with my movie choice. I mean yeah I’ve watched some dumb films (special thanks to Michael Bay) but nothing I thought of really felt…..right. Then happily I had, I guess what you’d call an […]

Categories: 2015, Action, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2015 • Tags: bad accents, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani, Elijah Wood, emma wall, green street movie, hooligan, hooliganism, hooligans, london england, No Boobs, penisbytheprinter, peniscold, penisinthedrawer, penisisinthecup, penisoutoforder, reputation, shitfest 2015, soccer, SOUNDS SHIT, Violence, you're a twat