HALLOWEEN

I loved all of these movies growing up, so this is going to be especially fun re-watching these. Michael Myers (also known as The Shape) used to give me nightmares. I loved how he was always skulking around in the background, his white mask slowly coming into the picture, chiaroscuro style. I also liked these the most because they didn’t try to be comical, they were always dark and atmospheric, no one- liners that ruined scenes. I remember there were large body counts , but I don’t remember them being real gory – vis a vis Friday the 13th. Anyway, this should be good fun.  You may or may not know that the mask was actually a Captain Kirk mask they painted white, so for these rankings, we’ll be going with a head shot of The Shat himself.

HALLOWEEN (1978): FOUR SHATS

I really enjoyed watching this again after all of these years. I remember this scared the beejeezus out of me when I saw it (when I was 7). The opening scene, one long shot, from outside to inside, up the stairs to the killing of Michael’s sister, back down the stairs and out in the front,  is really done well and was probably pretty novel when this thing came out. So Michael kills his sister, goes to the insane asylum where he is treated for 15 years by Doctor Loomis (the always wonderful Donald Pleasance).  These fifteen years later he breaks out and comes home to kill Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode, with Dr Loomis in tow. I loved Pleasance, he was the insane, yelling, sighing, wide eyed quack actor that made these things great. As you might know, Meyers comes home, starts killing some local teens, tries to kill Strode, and the Dr. saves the day blasting Myers over the balcony. He goes to look over the balcony, and WHAT UP? Myers is gone leaving only a dewy body print in the grass.

I loved the end of this movie with the famous creepy music playing: the dewy body print, cut to: Loomis amazed and distraught, cut to: Strode crying in the hallway, cut to: the stairs, cut to: the inner house, cut to: the outer house, cut to: the street, cut to: the Myers house, roll credits. It’s probably a lot better if you watch it than my description. This was also filled with very cool camera angles and nice “coming out of the darkness Mask” shots. Sadly, we do get two or three of the “hand comes in from the side and grabs shoulder but it’s an ally” shots, which I have never believed in, because, who really sneaks up on someone like that?

All in all, this was a very good, broody, atmospheric movie that stands up to the test of time.

Oh yeah – there’s actually very, very little blood in this. Most of the kills are by strangulation or bloodless. Also – I forgot they show his face towards the end.  I noticed John Carpenter was probably plugging the next movie he was working on (the remake of The Thing), as this is what the kids are always watching during this fateful Halloween night.

HALLOWEEN 2 (1981): THREE SHATS

In the lore of this franchise, the original made a shitload of money, on no budget, so they gobbled up the profits and made a second one. This one takes place right there on the same night, right there on the balcony and the missing body. The police and paramedics have shown up and whisk Laurie Strode to the local hospital. Myers is missing and Loomis takes up with the cops to figure out what’s going on. If you are not familiar with this, Michael makes his way to the surprisingly abandoned hospital and begins taking out the staff one by one looking for her. Why in the world is he looking for her anyway? It is revealed to Loomis during the movie that Michael actually had another sister born two years before he was committed.  I guess he wasn’t committed right after he killed his other sister. Apparently she was born right before his parents were killed (not sure how) and adopted by the Strode family. Anyway, that’s why he’s out to get her, but we still don’t know “WHY”? They make allusions to some druidic folklore (when they find the word SAMHAIN smeared in blood on the black board at the local elementary school). I think they actually ferret this out in number 6.

Anyway, Loomis makes his way to the hospital after this revelation and he fills Myers with some more bullets, which doesn’t finish him off, Laurie shoots him in both eyes, and that doesn’t do it, then Loomis turns on all of the gas in the operating room and sacrifices himself by flicking his bic and the room blows to smithereens. Fragile and worn Strode watches as he stumbles out of the room in flames and eventually falls to the ground where we get extended shots of his face / mask burning. Surely this is the end? I bet that was the plan since we get a totally different movie next time.

Overall, this movie was pretty boring. It had a new director and wasn’t as “atmospheric” as the first one. We mostly get Jamie Lee stumbling around the barren hospital (where are any other residents) and Michael offing the orderlies. This one is a lot more bloody, that’s for sure. I thought Loomis was in the later ones (I KNOW he’s in six because that was the last film he made before he died). I am surprised to see how he survived this fiery explosion since he was in the room and caused it. Oh well – next up, the much reviled SEASON OF THE WITCH!

HALLOWEEN 3 (1981) SEASON OF THE WITCH: THREE SHATS

I remember when this movie first came out, it was generally reviled; the “non Michael Myers Halloween”. Back then I didn’t know about box office receipts and such but it didn’t make any money either. I recall I thought it was a cool idea, making “new” horror movies about Halloween each time, but no one else did and this was a FAIL.  Apparently it bombed so bad we wouldn’t see a new Halloween for seven more years, I guess to get the bad taste out of everyone’s mouths. My only real memories about it were the masks and that horribly irritating “jingle” that plays almost incessantly. So I watched it the other night and I was actually really liking it until the HORRIBLE near-ending.

One of my favorite movies of the 80′s is called “Night of the Creeps”, starring Tom Atkins as the sarcastic, grizzled cop whose girlfriend was chopped up by a maniac in his past, leaving him broken down and suicidal. So Tom is the main role in H3 and he delivers the deadpan, sarcasm just like in “Night” and i was really into it. His leading lady is some sort of Jennifer Beals look alike whose delivery was horrible, but at least she showed a boob. There are other bad actors in it, but they didn’t really bother me that much, since, after all, this is an 80′s horror.

The premise of the movie, instead of slasher Myers, is this toy company has mass produced and marketed these new wave Halloween masks and every single kid in the country is buying them up like Cabbage Patch Kids. Some whacked out dude burbling about how “they’re gonna kill us all” shows up at a gas station clutching one of said masks and is rushed to the hospital where Atkins is in residence. Very quickly, he is gruesomely killed inside his hospital room by a couple of mystery men in suits. What follows is an interesting investigation into what exactly the toy company is all about and what does he mean, “They’re going to kill us all”.

This movie is VERY gory – much more than the previous two, and I thought it was nicely shot with creative camera work. I am not sure about the historical accuracy of this, but we revisit the SAMHAIN thing from H2 with the toy company being run by a bunch of druids who want to recreate the Halloween ritual where they used to “slaughter all of their children and animals so the hills would run with blood”. Anyway, these masks have a special chip in them that, when triggered by the snappy jingle, does “something” in their heads which, wait for it, causes all sorts of spiders and crickets and snakes to suddenly emerge from inside their crania.

How does this happen? This is where it gets bad. Turns out the toy company stole one of the monoliths from Stonehenge because it has “powers”. They are drilling holes in it and putting shavings of the rock into a chip which is attached to the mask. It seems they have the ability to turn on this magick with the use of sound, which cause the human head to be filled with insects and reptiles. LAME.  Luckily Atkins finds a box of these chips, throws them on the ground from the rafters, then activates the sound causing the building to blow up. There’s a little bit more to it, but there’s no need, really.

So – for about 114 minutes out of 130 I was into it wondering why everyone hated it. It’s got Atkins, a boob, cool camera work, references to the first two Halloweens, lots of gore, drinking, smoking, a cursing hobo, lasers, robots and beepers but then there’s the big letdown. Oh well. On to the next one.

By the way, there are two prominently featured actresses in here, both of which had to write something down at some point, and both are left handed.

HALLOWEEN 4 (1988) THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS: FIVE SHATS

I give this five Shats because this is my “favorite” of the series. I remember seeing this in the theater and being pretty excited by it. We had gone from the 70’s to the late 80’s and I was a teenager and really got into this.  This had lots of slow motion (what is ever wrong with slow motion), it was gory and bloody,  The Shape and Loomis were back in business and  I was in really in tune with the new Jason-target Jamie Lloyd (get it – Jamie Lee Curtis played by Danielle Harris). It was bleak and not corny, unlike the F-13 series, and was bringing us back to “scariness”. When I watched it again, it didn’t quite do the same thing for me, as times have changed and effects are different, but it still stands out as the best one the franchise had to offer,  and that’s just me, on my blog.

Just like in the first one, we open to a dark and stormy night where two technicians are on their way to the federal insane asylum with their order to transfer comatose Michael Myers to the state facility. Turns out ten years ago he murdered 16 people trying to kill his sister, the asylum’s crazy director (Dr. Loomis) blew them up and ended the madness. Loomis is alive but plumb crazy (and part of his face is burned). The two techs are discussing the situation in the back of the ambulance where it is revealed that Michael’s Sister, Laurie had married and had a daughter “before they were killed”. The Daughter’s name is Jamie and she lives with a foster family, but Myers is a murdered so he can’t be her legal guardian, etc. This brings him out of his coma and things start to get hairy.

Before too long Loomis is back on his trail, bird dogging the local police force and a posse of rednecks in their adventure to stop Myers from butchering everyone in Haddonfield again, looking for his niece. Along the way, he does just that. I liked the way they did this movie, the direction, the D.P., I liked little Jamie and her sister Rachel. I liked Pleasance as usual, I liked Sherriff  Brackett and his daughter, I liked the chase scenes and the eerie return of Myers creeping around in the dark, with his eerie white mask popping up out of the black, and the “twist ending” that I won’t reveal. Let’s just say Jamie has something in common with her Uncle.

Towards the end, Michael is hit by a truck a few times, and then riddled with shotguns before falling into a well and having the well collapse on him. Dr Loomis proclaims “an end to the evil”, and this would be it for The Boogey Man, right? (The twist ending indicates it might just be).

HALLOWEEN 5 (1989) THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS: FOUR SHATS

During the “Making Of” special feature, the producer of most of the Halloweens (Moustapha Akkad) said that Halloween 4 had been the most successful of the series, even spending two weeks as the number one movie in the U.S. so they immediately set out to make a sequel – while they were hot! Most of all of the actors from 4 return and a new director, some French dude who wanted to make it “more European, more suspense than horror”. I think it worked, while I was watching it I was thinking that maybe this one is my favorite, but it got a little boring in the middle and I had forgotten about the end, which was, and is, kind of disappointing. Overall though, it’s one of the stronger ones in the series, IMO.

At the end of the first one, Myers is shot by the police and drops into an abandoned mine (not a well) which collapses on him. We take up directly in 5 with Michael crawling out of the rubble into the mine shaft just as the cops drop some dynamite down there and blow everything to smithereens. Luckily Myers crawls out and drops into the river and he rushes out of town and ends up in some hobo’s camp, where he collapses. We are then spirited back to Haddonfield, one year later (Halloween) where young Jamie (now a mute) resides in the local children’s clinic under the care of the even more crazed Dr. Loomis. They don’t really address the turn of events at the end of 4 – but everyone seems ok with it. Hmmm…

Since time has passed, Michael revives from his coma and it turns out Jamie has a “psychic connection with her uncle”. She can see his actions – like when he kills the river hobo (and such). Loomis is out of his mind wanting her to “help him” figure this out, but she’s still too scared of the Boogeyman to do anything. I think the plot here is pretty clear so we don’t really need to go into it. Myers is going to kill a lot of people in the search for his niece, and he does. Something new we get here is the “man in black” character who is skulking around Haddonfield looking for The Shape. Here’s a spoiler: eventually, after they capture Myers and lock him up (still with his mask on by the way) the mystery man blows the back of the prison up and shoots all of the policemen – stealing away with Michael. I put the spoiler in there because I think 6 is pretty much all about the man in black thing and the tattoo Myers now has on his wrist that’s never been shown before.

All in all – this was good. The plot was kind of lame but the D.P. did a good job with cool camera angles and nice interior shots. And Michael chasing them around that field in that muscle car was pretty cool too.

HALLOWEEN 6 (or 666) (1995) THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS: TWO SHATS

I was reading about this the other day, after I watched it, and apparently there are two versions of this movie, a good one and this one. The good one is apparently the “Producer’s Cut” which may or may not be available (I haven’t looked) and this is the “Distributer’s Cut” which is the version that made its way into the theaters.  Evidently, the original was very sharply made, and a welcome addition to the Myers legacy, but the distributors thought it was too smart for the viewing public and dumbed it down with multiple reshoots and dialogue and the result is awful. When I was watching this, before I knew this information, there were multiple times when I said to myself, “What?” or “Huh?” or “What in the hell?”. After reading this out on the web, it is clearly evident that there are two different movies here, OR one good looking, stylish movie with interesting shots and ideas, and another one that inserts loud, flashy knife strikes, screams, and a different sense of photography. At some points, even the characteristics of the actors are different: longer hair styles, obviously not the same clothes, a different “hallway” for example. This is one that can be skipped, unless you want to know the “why” of Michael Myers, which I will explain now and save you the trouble.

At the end of 5, the man in black had blown up the cops and stolen away with Michael and we see Jamie crying in the rubble. At the beginning of 6 we discover he also stole off with the child who is now a teenager and is pregnant, being rushed through the bowels of what is the sanitarium Myers was enclosed in for so many years so long ago. She gives agonizing birth to the baby who is delivered to the Man in  Black who takes the boy to some chamber (inside the asylum) where they are either going to cut into his stomach or they are painting the symbol of the Thorn (the tattoo Myers has on his wrist) on him, it’s hard to tell. From a comment on IMDB: “Thorn is the third rune in a group of 33. Thorn is also known as Thurisaz. This ruin appears every 1,000 years. It is a constellation in the stars which appears on October 31st, Halloween. It is also on Michael’s wrist. To the ancient Druids, Thorn represented a demon. This demon spread sickness which killed thousands of people and killed crops. The Druids also believed that one child from each tribe was chosen to be inflicted with the curse of Thorn. This child had to kill their whole family to spare thousands more.” There you have it, that’s why he’s been trying to kill off his family for a decade.

So – get this – Jamie’s baby is actually his own child (gross). One of the druidic nurses feels bad for her so she steals the baby, gives it to Jamie and she escapes. Here we go: she escapes, she hides in a bus station, she calls a radio show for help,  she is made fun of, she hides the baby, she is killed on a farm, Michael burns the Thorn rune into a bunch of hay bales (what??), Tommy Doyle (the baby-sat kid from the original, now played by Paul Rudd) goes to bus station, retrieves the baby, runs into Loomis and his associate (from the original) Dr. Wynn,  we are introduced to Laurie Strode’s sister (never previously mentioned), her son, her asshole dad, etc, chases and killings ensue for the baby, etc, etc, etc, Dr. Wynn is actually the man in black, Kara Strode (Laurie’s sister) jumps out of a two story window (huh??), fight, fight, kill, kill, fight, kill, ultimate showdown Myers is finally killed by Rudd. Thankfully this mess is over. But wait the body is missing but the mask remains (what the hell?).

This is not “Slappin’ the bass” Paul Rudd, this is “act like Jason Patric” Rudd.  Dr. Loomis doesn’t have the scar on his face any more. The Man in Black is a voice changing, 60 year old man who blew up the Haddonfield police station and shot everyone. This is filled with irritating “flash cuts” constantly. Sadly, this was Donald Pleasance’ last movie. This gets two Shats (instead of one), because the stuff that was probably supposed to be the “good” stuff, seemed like it could have been a good movie. Maybe some time I’ll try and root out the “Producer’s Cut”.

HALLOWEEN H20 (7) (1998) TWENTY YEARS LATER: FIVE SHATS

OK – OK – This is my favorite one of the entire franchise. I know this because the next three I have seen in recent memory and didn’t particularly like. I also have just watched seven movies and this is the one I liked the most.  This one was “good looking”, this one had stuff going on in the background (which I thoroughly enjoy), this one had GOOD acting, this one had a good return to “The Shape”, this one had a modern, good looking cast, this one had Jamie Lee back as Laurie Strode and this one had one hell of an ending which would make sure Myers could not ever be back – awesome! I need to set something straight too – on my “Centurion” review, I mentioned that “The Descent” was “shit-your-pants-scary” and was called out for it. What I meant was that In “The Descent, there were a couple of shit-your-pants-moments that were actually scary”, not that I was “sitting in the corner crying and shitting my pants because I was so scared for two hours”. In H20, there is actually a scary vibe to it, but not one that makes me want to hide in the closet and tremble. You see so many of these movies it’s rare to get that anxious feeling, so when you do, it feels  great. I got that with this movie – and it made me feel gooooooood. This isn’t the same type of anxiety I got with “Frozen”, but some stalker-in-the-dark anxiety that reminded me of being a kid and being afraid of the dark. For a few minutes, here and there.  I am not taking my five Shats off of 4, but this one is my fave.

We start off with a cool introductory scene starring the actress who played Dr. Loomis’ assistant in the first two movies – turns out, that Loomis had retired here in Langdon, Il, with her, until his death, apparently they were researching Myers since “he was killed and his body never found”. Thankfully they don’t get into the whole Thorn thing. During the opening credits, we get a cool recap via newspapers on the wall – helping us remember the Strode movies. We then come across Laurie herself, a headmistress at a prestigious private school in California. We meet her son (there is never mention of her daughter or her sister) played by Josh Hartnett (presumably UGH but he does an excellent job here). We also meet Michelle Williams, Jodi Lyn O’keefe and Adam Arkin (who have all gone on to many things), Adam Hann-Byrd ,now grown up, from one of my favorite movies, “Little Man Tate”, and, unfortunately (to me) LL Cool J.  So there’s our cast and one Michael Myers, back from the unknown, tracking down his little sister to give her the business.

I don’t think I need to go into the entire plot, because it’s pretty simple  Myers is trying to kill Laurie (again). What we should get in to is the framework of the movie. The photography is crisp, atmospheric and all around good looking. The direction doesn’t seem to fail anywhere. All of the actors do a good job, evoking fear – making it seem like they are afraid, making it believable. Jamie Lee and Arkin do a really good job in their parts. In the “front foyer” scene, I actually believed Hartnett and Williams were scared, I also liked them in the car towards the end. I don’t really like LL Cool J, but I guess he wasn’t terrible, but was he needed? Man – the end was great! Too bad (I guess) H20 made a shitload of money so we will be revisiting Michael Myers with the woefully-remembered Halloween Resurrection (I mean Busta Rhymes?? SIGH…)

HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION (8) (2002): ONE SHAT

This movie is a disgrace to the franchise. I sat through this thinking “OK maybe this is good, maybe this is OK, maybe it’s not as bad as I remember” but, in the end, the last twenty minutes ruined any hope this movie had to salvage.  I guess they were trying to capitalize on the success of “The Blair Witch Project” and  the beginning of reality TV as we now know it (ala Survivor and The Real World, to name a few), but this is, as my legend indicates, a blight on my life.  I wished it had never been made the first time I saw it, I tried to give it a chance this last time, and hated it at the end. It’s hard to write this and make it make sense, but, Busta Rhymes didn’t ruin it for me, but, then again, he did. I give the movie a “One Shat” because, at a few points there was some “tension”, but other than that, I was waiting for it to be over again and again and again and again.

Here come spoilers: we start off with an explanation of how H20 ended. Apparently a medic on the scene of the crime in the last movie decided to take the mask off of Myers and put it on his own head, so now the end of H20 was actually Laurie offing some deuchebag (eyeroll). Now Laurie is in an insane asylum, and, sure enough, the “real Myers” shows up (eyeroll) and we have a HORRIBLE end to Laurie Strode (eyeroll). I guess Jamie Lee was done with this thing too… maybe after reading the script. Next up we are introduced to six or seven twenty-somethings who are going to be on a reality TV show set inside the Myers house (which is not the same house we have seen over the years), produced by Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks. The idea is that these people are going to wear “head-cams” and film themselves trying to find out the mystery to Michael Myers. I am not going to go into how lame these characters are. I will say that I feel bad for Bianca Kajlich (the fiancé of Goldie Hawn’s son on Rules of Engagement”) that she was the lead in this thing. She’s not that great of an actress, but I like her on “ROE”. I can see that there was some sort of production value for this, but, by god, this thing is dumb. The actual camera cinematography is nice, but the handhelds and the “corner cams” are terrible. I know I am “in the wireless industry” but, for real, this could have been done much better. It’s like they filmed the scene two ways, one with a camera, and one from the “head cam”, then put a bunch of wiggles and static in there. Final sentence here: needless to say, the formula was the same, everyone but a few characters get the business.

My final thoughts:  The end of Laurie Strode was pitiful. The split shot scenes didn’t work. It was kind of going OK until Busta Rhymes brought out the “HIIEEE YAHH” Kung Fu THREE times on Michael Myers. THREE times. Then he gave us some wonderment with “Happy Halloween Mother F-er”, “You like Sushi Mother  F-er?”, and “ Looking a little crispy over there, Mikey. Like some chicken-fried mother F-er. Well, may he never, ever rest in peace”.

UGH.

HALLOWEEN (9) (2007): THREE SHATS

Back in, like, 2004, when the news broke that they were making a new Halloween, it was exciting. A year or so later they announced the director was going to be Rob Zombie, fresh off of House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. I didn’t like “House” but i did like “Devil’s” and, in both cases, Zombie proved he had the knack to make a bloody, disgusting, brutal vicious horror movie, whether you liked them or not.  After watching both of those movies I felt dirty, not like “I just watched “8MM” dirty” but more like, “I just went to the wrong side of the city and watched some nasty shit” dirty. They’re demented and bloody and his effects guys know how to make deliver the carnage. Anyway, i was excited about Zombie turning the franchise around and making it a little more violent, a little more ugly (after Resurrection). Well he sure did. Apparently the company gave him his freedom to do whatever he wanted, and boy he did. They call this a “re-imaging”, you see. We take the original good idea and rehash it since we have run all out of bad new ideas, and then make money off of the original again. Truthfully, it was probably necessary after the Thorn stuff and then Resurrection.  Keep in mind, of course – using all of the actors from his previous movies. It is obvious Zombo has a thing for the 70s, so his movies are chock full of actors from them.

So we begin. The mother in this case is poor ole stripper Sheri Moon Zombie (Zombie’s  wife) who lives in a disgustingly dirty house with her crippled, disgusting boyfriend (William Forsythe) whose every other word is some derivative of the F Bomb, the hot-teen-with-ass-hanging-out-of-pants-who-is-going-to-meet-her-doom-sister, the cute-as-a-button-in-this-shithole- world baby sister and the young Michael Myers (a disgusting Doug Faerch). Unlike the original movie where we aren’t told why Myers is The Shape and we watch the story unfold over four (or six) movies, we get told that he is a bullied, abused wimp of a boy who likes to kill animals and dress in a John Wayne Gacy clown mask. The boyfriend abuses both the mom and his sister, his mom strips for a living, etc. So one night he’s had enough and kills not just his sister, but her boyfriend and the Forsythe character. Queue a flashback montage of hippie Dr Loomis (Malcom McDowell of ALL people) meeting with him over 17 years, Myers killing a nurse, the mom (Moon) killing herself, and so on. Seventeen  years later this individual who has done nothing but sit in his room and make masks is now a HULKING MONSTER of a man (6′ 10″, 285 lbs. pro wrestler Tyler Mane). I don’t remember what the impetus was, but he figures now’s the time and makes his escape, BRUTALLY killing everyone he comes into contact with. Coinciding with this, we are introduced to Laurie Strode and her two friends (the sheriff’s daughter is played by none other than Daniel Harris, Jamie from H 4 and 5) walking home from school cursing more than you might hear in a prison gym. So – before this review gets too long – here’s how it goes: fight, scream, boobs, run, fight, scream, run, nudity, fight, murder, murder, murder, blood, blood, blood until the final showdown with Myers at an abandoned swimming pool.

You can certainly tell this is a Zombie movie. Everyone is greasy and “white trash”, everyone cusses it up in every line, the sets look filthy, the violence is brutal, the blood flows everywhere, things get smashed and Sheri Moon Zombie is in it, who may be good to look at, but she’s not a very good actress. I guess the question to be answered is: “Is this a good horror movie? Sure.” If the question is: “Is this a good Halloween movie?” the answer would be “Well, forget everything you’ve ever thought about Michael Myers and The Shape because in this one he’s a chaotic super powered psycho who SMASHES and CUTS and RIPS and TEARS.”

Three Shats for not having Busta Rhymes karate kicking in it.

HALLOWEEN 2 (10) (2009): ONE SHAT

This is my own opinion, now – I didn’t like this movie – I like the old Halloweens I grew up watching, I liked The Shape – The Boogeyman – the guy who makes you get scared in the night. The dark of the blackness who made you afraid to go to the kitchen or the bathroom when you woke up in the middle of the night because you didn’t know what was out there. I think this was the “sense” of all of the movies until Zombie came around. NOW – I am not knocking Zombie’s movies, but they aren’t the Michael Myers that gave me the willies my whole life.  To be true to this movie – this is one hell of a “slasher movie” – but would, to ME, have been so much better as some other franchise instead of messing with The Shape. To add – the raping of the Dr. Loomis character is probably what sent me over the edge sent I liked Donald Pleasance so much. I know I used a hard word there, but we go from the “crazy, nice, lovable Dr. Loomis” to the “Malcolm MacDowell terrible Loomis who is vain, maniacal and a total A-hole”. Jeez – I was wanting him to be offed the entire two Zombie movies. Maybe he could have suffered through a gruesome head stomp – but no. No, No, No.  Going in to this movie we should all know we’re going to get screaming teenage girls (that’s the deal right) – but these actresses are all SO IRRITATING it’s unbelievable. I don’t want to go on forever, but we all have to deal with the “ghost-mom-Sheri-Moon-who-had-to-be-in-Zombie’s-movie” aspect of this thing which, quite frankly, was stupid. Is she the Angel of Death? Who knows. Who cares?

The original H2 was shot almost entirely in a hospital, the same night as the first. See above – not that great. This one pays “homage” to the original sequel by giving us dream sequence hospital action where, and excuse me this is unacceptable, Myers comes terrorizing into the wards, dismembering everyone while grunting and moaning. This is the sinker to me. The Shape didn’t grunt and ARRGH. Thumbs down at the beginning. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh well. After this we get horseshit about Loomis on his book tour, Myers out in the wilderness eating dogs and killing farmers, the end to Sherriff Brackett’s daughter (Danielle Harris), numerous “White Ghost Mom on White Horse” allusions and a loooooooooooooong drawn out ending. I was glad when this was over. In the end, I suppose it’s better than Resurrection, in a way, because it has no Rhymes, but the white horse business might make it just as bad.

Well – I am not making the movies since I am not a bazzilionairre. Now we wait for the upcoming Halloween 3D (groooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn). At least there’s some potential hope as it is being directed by the D.P. of Halloween H20, Patrick Lussier, who directed the wonderful My Bloody Valentine 3D (which I have only ever viewed in fantastic 2D). Thank the gods of the east there’s still 2D. MVB3D was pretty good, and so was H20. Oh – and by the way, MVB3D starred Tom Atkins – the best part of Season of the Witch.

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I think, in the end, this is a great money making, willy inducing, get your lady to grab you in the theater franchise that’s made lots of money and millions of fans. I bet you’re probably in the “I like the first two movies group” or the “4 and 5” group, or the “Zombie group” which is probably the “kids today”.  I honestly like the “Zombie movies” BUT – I have a place in my scared of the dark persona for all of the others. II am writing a screenplay that Zombie would probably be a great director of, to get the Grindhouse feel of sleaziness and the “greasy side” of humanity, I just wish his two weren’t part of the Halloween canon. We’ll reserve space below for the next entry. Happy Halloween!

28 comments

  1. Pingback: Holiday Theme 8 – March 22nd | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

  2. Very nice! I am actually getting ready to review all the films myself, I enjoyed reading yours. You’re right about 8, Resurrection ought to be banned because it is a horrible disgrace. I’m a completist and I won’t even buy it! That’s saying something. 🙂

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  3. Pingback: FRIDAY THE 13th – April 2012 style | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

  4. I think Halloween 2 (1981) is very underrated, but Halloween 2 (2009) is one of the biggest messes ever to hit a movie screen. It’s pretty hard to root for Laurie to survive when you can’t stand her.

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  5. Good post, not sure I agree with some of it, but you were pretty spot on for most of them. I think this series ended with H20. I understand a reboot, but Rob really missed the mark on it. Imagine if MIchael’s family would have been normal everyday suburbia and not white trash. Wouldn’t that make him a heck of a lot scarier? Normal kid just snapping one day.

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