Tag: Dongs

MIDSOMMAR (2019) THIS IS WHY WE DON’T FUCK WITH SWEDISH HIPPIES

October 16, 2019 by theipc

Dude. Bro. Chief. Friendo. You can’t unsee some of the practical effects in this fucker. I even had to look away a couple of times. Are you in for some head smashing? Flaying? Unattractive cooters? This may be the movie for you! Read that in your best Stefan from Saturday Night Live voice because this has it all including people being burned alive and a super long pole dancing scene reminiscent of the video for Safety Dance. Speaking of that, […]

Categories: Boobs, Death and Destruction, Drama, Four Top Hats, GROSS!!, Very Gory • Tags: ari asters, BEAVERS, Boobs, Dongs, florence Pugh, Gross, gunnel fred, isabelle grill, Midsommar

A TRIPLET OF MOVIES FROM THE ALTER SHORT FILM COLLECTION pt 1

October 2, 2019 by theipc

Are you familiar with the Short Horror Film community on YouTube? Should you be? Well – it exists. Over the last year or so, I’ve watched some really good ones and some big time shiteaters – but one thing that seems to be solid is the company ALTER. They seem to encourage quality production, good acting and the – often – good story. It seems this is difficult to match in a 6 – 15 minute movie, but they seem […]

Categories: Drama, Four Top Hats, GROSS!!, I'm Stupid, JIZZ, SATAN!, Very Gory • Tags: Alexandra nolan, allison winn, alter short horror films, backstroke shirt film, boxroom short film, Butts, Demons, Dongs, east hell short film, erika mcgann, goats, Gross, Jennifer rostami, josefine christoffersen, Lauren nicole cipoletti, Satan!!, siri Miller, the gaze short film, wall taco

MOTHER! (2017) ARONOFSKY PORKS THE OLD TESTAMENT

September 21, 2018 by theipc

This thing is basically going to talk about the end so: SPOILERS. Out of the few Aronofsky films I’ve seen, I hated them all. There’s that for you. So when I finally had a chance to watch the movie where they eat a baby, I gave it as shot figuring I would hate it but I didn’t. It wasn’t enjoyable but it was far better than the wretched The Wrestler which I absolutely loathed so much that I wanted to […]

Categories: 2018, Boobs, Death and Destruction, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, Dongs, Ed Harris, Javier Barden, Jebus, Jennifer Lawrence, Michelle Pfeifer, mother! movie review, worthless allegory

LUKE ABBOTT INTERPRETS: BLOOD SAND (2015)

November 28, 2017 by theipc

We don’t post around here so much any longer but when we do, we try and have fun. Without further ado, we present one of our older features where The Oracle of Film tries to interpret my thoughts on a movie based only on pictures I drunkenly lift from the internet. Presenting: BLOOD SAND! And it is a pleasure to be back, Mr. Isaacs. I fondly remember this series where I tried to figure out the plot of a movie […]

Categories: 2017, Boobs, Excitement, HUH???, Three Top Hats • Tags: blood beach, blood sand, Boobs, boobs in the sand, Brooke Butler, Cynthia Murell, Dongs, Eyeballs, killer sand, lucy lawless, luke abbott interprets, Meagan Holder, Nikki Leigh, the sand, tits, you ate sand??

BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 (2017) A PICTOGRAM (OF SORTS)

October 30, 2017 by theipc

(editor’s note – the concept for this seemed a lot better than the drunken finished project)

Categories: 2017, Action, Four Top Hats, Grindhouse, No Boobs, Very Gory • Tags: beating up a car, brawl in cell block 99, BROKEN LEGS, Cigars, don johnson, Dongs, drunken posting, Grindhouse, killing everything, No Boobs, SCHLONGS, shitpots, smashed skulls, super violent, the guy who did bone tomahawk, Vince Vaughn

BLOOD ORGY AT BEAVER LAKE (2012) PLEASE SEE BELOW (THIS TIME THERE ARE WORDS)

August 1, 2016 by theipc

First off, for the three people that still look at this place, sorry about that last post I did about The Triangle. That was supposed to be a treatise on what I found searching ‘The Triangle movie 2016’ but then I put all of the pictures together, got busy and never did any text – then I was out of town and couldn’t delete the damned thing so – oh well. Today’s post comes regarding an absolutely terrible movie that […]

Categories: 2016, Boobs, Death and Destruction, Drive - In, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, HUH???, I'm Sorry, JIZZ • Tags: bad cgi, BEAVERS, blood orgy at beaver creek movie, Boobs, Brandis Bishop, chicken raping, Chickens, Courtney Hermon-Taylor, Dongs, DR Bung, drumsticks, dry humping, Frank J. Levanduski, GUNS, JIZZ, Kathleen Kelly, Katie Hepfinger, lots of boobs, lots of humping, Mike C. Hartman, Pot, quack whore magazine, terrible but fun, The Sex, tits, Virginia Bryant

SHITFEST 2015 ~ SUMMER: IT FOLLOWS (2014)

August 14, 2015 by theipc

SUBMITTED BY Shitfest 2015 ~ Summer: It Follows (2014) Shit Swallows (2014) It Follows (2014) *SPOILERS FOLLOW!* BRAD: I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t hate it. It had great atmosphere and camera work. And I had a love/hate relationship with the score but at times it really worked and there were times when there was no score which was great for added tension. BRIAN: I thought the score was ok. It was like a combo of Halloween, Dune, and Star Trek: […]

Categories: 2015, HUH???, JIZZ, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER • Tags: Boobs, Daniel Zovatto, David Robert Mitchell, Debbie Williams, Dongs, hipsters, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, it follows movie review, Keir Gilchrist, Lili Sepe, Maika Monroe, monsters, old ladies, Olivia Luccardi, One of my Favorite Movies, peepers, Ruby Harris, shitfest 2015: summer, the beach scene, Underwear, wonderful score

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THE SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER OPENING CEREMONY!!

July 1, 2015 by theipc

Here we go! It seems nature called and abhorred a vacuum in the universe so we’re here to set things back to normal – and by typing that we mean – it’s time for another Shitfest!! FUCK YES!!! It’s summer time where I live so we’ll call this Shitfest – Summer and then take off all of our clothes and go jump in the lake! We’ll have to be very choosy about which body of water we jump in because […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, CLAM AND PEN, Death and Destruction, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Found Footage, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, HUH???, I LOVED IT, JIZZ, Most Unclean, Movie Reviews, One Top Hat, Praise Be to The IPC, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER, WHOSE BOOBS???, WHY???, WOAH!, Zombies • Tags: #minions, AMY RYAN, Amy Ryan's boobs, Amy Ryan's tits, ass, boob boob boobs, Boobs, bring it bitches, Butts, Charlize Theron, Charlize Theron's boobs, Charlize Theron's tits, Christina Hendricks, Christina Hendricks's boobs, Christina Hendricks's tits, Dongs, Five Top Hats, hello satan, I Loved It, Jessica Biel, JESSICA BIEL'S BOOBS, Jessica Biel's tits, Kaley Cuoco, Kaley Cuoco's boobs, Kaley Cuoco's tits, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale's boobs, Kate Beckinsale's tits, Keira Knightley, Keira Knightley's boobs, Keira Knightley's tits, Lake Bell, lake bell's boobs, Lake Bell's tits, Madonna, Madonna's boobs, Madonna's tits, nakedness, orgies, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar's boobs, Sarah Michelle Gellar's tits, shitfest 2015, shitfest 2015: summer, that movie needs more devil, tits, WHOSE BOOBS

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BREAK OUT YOUR LOOSE PANTS AND UNLOCK THOSE CHASTITY GARMENTS – SHITFEST STARTS TOMORROW!

June 30, 2015 by theipc

Are you ready????? CAN YOU DIG IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT?????????? Are you as turned on as a hillbilly at a family reunion??????? Do you need a handy IPC Ice Pack™ for your burning loins???? Or would you just prefer some salve?? Let me know either way and I’ll take care of you!! Shitfest 2015 ~ Summer starts tomorrow and I can’t be more happy! We’ve got some GREAT stuff lined up and at the end we’ll all vote for the one true champion!!!! […]

Categories: 2015, 80s Encore, Action, Boobs, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, CLAM AND PEN, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, FUCKING TERRIBLE, GROSS!!, HUH???, JIZZ, Nothing, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER, WHY???, WOAH! • Tags: #minions, AMY RYAN, Amy Ryan's boobs, Amy Ryan's tits, ass, boob boob boobs, Boobs, bring it bitches, Butts, Charlize Theron, Charlize Theron's boobs, Charlize Theron's tits, Christina Hendricks, Christina Hendricks's boobs, Christina Hendricks's tits, Dongs, Five Top Hats, hello satan, I Loved It, Jessica Biel, JESSICA BIEL'S BOOBS, Jessica Biel's tits, Kaley Cuoco, Kaley Cuoco's boobs, Kaley Cuoco's tits, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale's boobs, Kate Beckinsale's tits, Keira Knightley, Keira Knightley's boobs, Keira Knightley's tits, Lake Bell, lake bell's boobs, Lake Bell's tits, Madonna, Madonna's boobs, Madonna's tits, nakedness, orgies, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar's boobs, Sarah Michelle Gellar's tits, shitfest 2015, shitfest 2015: summer, that movie needs more devil, tits, WHOSE BOOBS

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Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest (and Gassy) Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)