Ethan Hawke | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SATANIC (2016) THE GIRL FROM MODERN FAMILY MADE A POOR CHOICE

August 22, 2016 by theipc

First off, I’d like to go on record and state that I hate that movie poster so fucking much that it goes on the #BazookaList and I can’t put that out as my featured image so I’ll free associate Sarah Hyland to Sofia Vergara’s mighty bosom and use a classy picture of her as my image instead. Secondly, I haven’t been traveling much lately but I’ve still been busier than fuck so, when I have ten free minutes I have […]

Categories: 2016, Boobs, HUH???, Nothing, SATAN!, Two Top Hats • Tags: bald people, Boobs, Clara Mamet, Ellen Page, Ethan Hawke, hairy hoohaws, James the Hotel Clerk, Justin Chon, kevin hart, los angeles, no good, not frightening, Sarah Hyland, satanic movie 2016, sofia vergaras mighty bosom, Sophie Dalah, Steven Krueger

SHITFEST 2015 ~ SUMMER: BINGE OF RAGE (2015)

August 12, 2015 by theipc

SUBMITTED BY THE IPC PRESENTS… A SHITFEST ORIGINAL “BINGE OF RAGE” Hey Ginobili and PattyParker! Wanna watch some movies!? All right, first up…Birdman! 15 MINUTES LATER… Ginobili, of course it does! Just give it a little more time. This movie won Best Picture, so you know it’s good! 30 MINUTES LATER… What, you guys don’t like it? Okay, I will take it off and put on something else. How about Boyhood? 20 MINUTES LATER… Don’t be so impatient, Ginobili, this […]

Categories: 2015, Death and Destruction, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER • Tags: Ali Faulkner, Andrea Riseborough, binge of rage, birdman can fuck off, birdman is boring as fuck, birdman is shit, birdman movie, BIRDS, BOOBS?? DOUBTFUL..., boyhood, boyhood 2014 movie, bullshit jazz, CATS, Ed Norton, Ellar Coltrane, Emma Stone, emma stone naked, Ethan Hawke, i doubt there's boobs, i hate this movie and i haven't seen it, Jonathan Bennett, manu ginobili, Michael Keaton, Miriam Weisbecker, Naomi Watts, No Boobs, Patricia Arquette, plays and shit, Richard Linklater, Richard Riehle, shitfest 2015, shitfest 2015: summer, shitfest forever and ever, Stelio Savante, THE SECRET VILLAGE, THE SHITFEST SOCIAL, this movie can fuck itself, this movie can go suck it, this sounds absolutely miserable, THIS WILL BE TERRIBLE, tv sign off cards, WHO KNOWS HOW THIS IS GOING TO GO, why would anyone watch this, Zach Galifianakis

SINISTER (2012) I LIKED IT! I DID….

April 21, 2015 by theipc

To intro – let me relate to you a true conversation that leads up to this movie experience…. this conversation takes place early 2013… JTJ: hey what’s that computer for? EI: My fucking job sucks lately so I started running a movie website… JTJ: On the work LAN???? EI: No – look – I use this illegal Wi-Fi router…. JTJ: I wouldn’t get caught with that… EI: I know – that’s why I lock my door every day when I […]

Categories: 2015, Four Top Hats, Ghosts, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Thriller • Tags: 8mm, boy in a box, Bughuul, cardigans, Danielle Kotch, Ellison Oswal, Ethan Hawke, ethan hawke wasn't a chump, Fred Dalton Thompson, gasoline, James Ransone, Juliet Rylance, mr boogie, No Boobs, scorpions don't have feet, Scott Derrickson, sinister 2012 movie, Snuff Films, The Kuvykin Mansion

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SHITFEST 2015: BOYHOOD (2014)

February 12, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE LOVELY REUT AT: I’m so excited!! This is my first Shitfest entry ever and I am so ready to do some cinematic slashin’ and bashin’. I was having some difficulty finding the right film to bash, but then I realized… how could I forget this one??? Neglect my suffering and anguish like that??? So, I am hereby proud to introduce you to my first Shitfest victim… Hope you’ll enjoy! (And if you violently disagree, please […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, FUCKING TERRIBLE, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: boyhood 2014 movie, Ellar Coltrane, Ethan Hawke, i doubt there's boobs, i hate this movie and i haven't seen it, Patricia Arquette, Richard Linklater, shitfest 2015, this movie can go suck it, this sounds absolutely miserable, why would anyone watch this

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GATTACA (1997) FOUR TOP HATS

February 20, 2013 by theipc

I have gone out in public and stated that I don’t care for Ethan Hawke – I never have and I think it’s because I think of him as some sort of pompous asshole – even though I’ve never met him or read anything about him. Some people you just don’t take to. So – a month or so ago, my friend and co-worker Jeffrey Tiberius Pilar Roast Beef Angelou Smithson Buckner Pennybottom Johnson was in my office and asked me if […]

Categories: 90s, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Sci - Fi • Tags: Elias Koteas, Ethan Hawke, Gattaca Movie Review, Genetics, Gore Vidal, Jayne Brook, Jude Law, Murder!!, Science Fiction, Space Travel, Uma Thurman, Xander Berkeley