JOHN WICK (2014) Keanu Reeve’s embalmed, schlacked and decapitated head stars as a retired time bomb, just wanting to relax and chill, Point Break-style, with his time bomb wife. Unfortunately, one night, after some rousing Bed-Sheet Be-Bop, he really ignites her wick and she blows to smithereens all over the bedroom, the bed sheets, the windows and the dog. Really, really mad, the bomb puts on a fake beard and goes around killing Russians and everyone else by blowing himself up inside […]

Categories: 2015, Action, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Death and Destruction, Four Top Hats, Half Ass Reviews, HUH???, I'm Stupid, No Boobs, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: a shit review of birdman, acting, Adrianne Palicki, Alfie Allen, Andrea Riseborough, birdman, birdman is boring as fuck, BIRDS, blood and violence, Bridget Moynahan, Bridget Regan, Chad Stahelski, David Leitch, Dean Winters, death and destruction, dogs, Edward Norton, Emma Stone, gangsters, Half Ass Reviews, i really liked john wick, Ian McShane, john wick movie, Keanu Reeves, lotsa fighting and killing, Michael Keaton, Michael Nyqvist, Naomi Watt's Boobs, Naomi Watts, No Boobs, noses, plays, Reek, RUSSIANS, Sex, smoking, snipers, strippers and cocaine, stupid jazz music, Willem Dafoe, Zach Galifianakis