LAME!!! | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

UNFINISHED BUSINESS #1: THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2 – ANGEL OF DEATH

November 24, 2015 by theipc

One day recently, during my unplanned sabbatical, I got up late, got my lame ass out of bed and took the dogs out for a pee and a poo. Then, being the lazy, sorry ass that I am, I took my lazy, sorry ass BACK to bed and thought I would watch something under the covers with my dogs and cats in tow and maybe report back on things since I’ve been out for so long (I know this is […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Ghosts, HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Three Top Hats • Tags: a guy is afraid of water, Amelia Crouch, Amelia Pidgeon, angel of death, crying british, derelicts, fun with free association, Ghosts, Good and Proper English, hammer, Helen McCrory, hole in your butt..... WHAT??????, holes in the ceiling, holes in your pants, I just wrote that, JEREMY IRVINE, LAME!!!, moors, no boners, No Boobs, not creepy, not scary, penny dreadful season 2, Phoebe Fox, raising hell, silence, the woman in black 2

THE MINUS MAN (1999) TWO TOP HATS

September 3, 2015 by theipc

The truth behind this movie is that a long, long time ago I had a friend who moved to Texas. One summer when I was languishing in the worst job I’ve ever had, I took a weekend off and drove down to see him where we dabbled in Texas beer, Valiums and sat down to watch Bottle Rocket. That was probably the best time I had that entire year so I still look back at Bottle Rocket as a good […]

Categories: 2015, 90s, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Drama, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: Alex Warren, bangs, Brian Cox, Dennis Haysbert, Dwight Yoakam, football, Ghosts, Janeane Garofalo, LAME!!!, mailmen, Mercedes Ruehl, No Boobs, not great, NOT SO MUCH, Owen Wilson, poison, police, Serial Killer, Sheryl Crow, the minus man movie

80s Encore with The IPC & TMI: Our Egos are Writing Checks Our Bodies Can’t Cash for Top Gun: Part 1

April 30, 2015 by David

Our story goes . . . one particularly uneventful Saturday evening, on a particularly starry night, in the early weeks of 1981, two boys, having never met, watch the same episode of BBC’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Hours later, they both dream the same dream of being Arthur Dent (and totally making it with Trillian) when Zaphod Beeblebrox initiates the Heart of Gold’s Infinite Improbability Drive. When they awoke, their fears that the dream was real are found […]

Categories: 2015, 80s, 80s Encore, Action, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, Two Top Hats • Tags: 80s encore, Adrian Pasdar, Anthony Edwards, arguing, Bernie Casey, bob hopse, Bruce Davison, Chevy Chase, Comedy, convertibles, Dan Aykroyd, dickfor, diet pepsi, doctor doctor doctor doctor, Donna Dixon, donna dixon was HOT, eric and dave do the 80s, fighter pilots, Frank Oz, Goose, grenades, harold faltermeyer, hup hup hup hup hup hup, John Landis, Kelly McGillis, LAME!!!, lesbians, light sex, Meg Ryan, Michael Ironside, motorbikes, No Boobs, nukes, obnoxious and loud, RUSSIANS, russians again, Silly, spies like us movie, Steve Forrest, that moment in, TIM ROBBINS, TOM CRUISE, Tom Skerritt, Tony Scott, top gun movie, VAL KILMER, Vanessa Angel, vanessa angel in her underwear

TORMENT (2014) THREE TOP HATS

June 27, 2014 by theipc

OK – in a brave fit of Creative Writing – I am going to try and write this review without using the letter “A”. Think it can be done?? Let’s see…. *cracks knuckles* *cracks neck* MI MI MI MI MI MI MI MI I REALLY wanted – well I guess I fucked that up…. OOOPS!! There goes that shit. Oh well. I did really want to like this one – it looked really creepy in the trailer and the poster […]

Categories: 2014, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, GROSS!!, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Disappointing, Doesn't Make Any Sense, Katharine Isabelle, LAME!!!, No Boobs Even, Not Very Good, Peter DaCunha, Puppies and Kittens, Stephen McHattie, Torment 2013 Movie Review, Uninspiring Tags

BAD FAITH (2010) BORESVILLE

March 20, 2014 by theipc

*SPOILERS* I’m not 100% positive why I rented this. The trailer looked good and I knew I was going to have to read it (it’s Swedish) but something just felt good about it and I downloaded it and started watching it and – well…… this was almost as boring as ONLY GOD FORGIVES.… if that’s fucking even possible. This Swedish woman, that I find attractive, stares at things for an hour and a half and then falls in love with […]

Categories: 2014, Boobs, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Bad Faith Movie Review, Boobs, Cooch, IF THERE'S ONLY TEN PEOPLE IN THE THEATER DON'T SIT NEAR ME ASSHOLE, Jonas Karlsson, Kristoffer Joner, LAME!!!, Magnus Krepper, onja Richter, Pretty Boring, Serial Killer, Staring, STOP BEING SO STUPID, Swedes, Why The Fuck Did I Watch This??

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: APOLLO 18 (2011) TWO TOP HATS

April 23, 2013 by theipc

Are you familiar with this? Some U.S. astronauts head to the moon and run into some creepy crawlies. It has some good things about it but otherwise it was pretty sorry and, granted I missed the first few minutes dealing with the lawn guys, but after this found footage was finally over I was left with just one fucking question: if all of this took place up in space and on the moon, and that’s how it ended – how […]

Categories: 2012, Found Footage, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Sci - Fi, Two Top Hats • Tags: Apollo 18 Movie Review, Found Footage, LAME!!!, NO FUCKING BOOBS!, Not Very Good, Sci-Fi, Space, The Moon

SIREN (2010) TWO TOP HATS

April 10, 2013 by theipc

This movie is really a whole lot of nothing. There are six cast members: two in a relationship, one the needless third party ex boyfriend, a boat rental dude, an insane Tunisian (I think) and then the Siren, the seductive sailor killer from Greek mythology, who is not very seductive in this version. From what I barely remember from my studies when I was a kid, there were three sirens who sang to sailors and drove them into reefs and […]

Categories: HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Two Top Hats • Tags: Anna Skellern, Boring, Dumb, Eoin Macken, LAME!!!, Siren 2010 Movie Review, Tereza Srbova, Where's the Fucking Boobs

BEYOND THE HILLS (2012)

March 23, 2013 by theipc

Let’s start this out by reinstating that in no way do I now, or would I ever, consider myself a film critic. I’m a guy that likes to drink beer and watch movies and, a long time ago, started writing about them on iWeb and them moved them over here to WordPress. I like movies to be fun and I like to see people having fun making them and being in them and I typically avoid watching, must less writing about, […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Drama, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Two Top Hats • Tags: Boring, LAME!!!, Movies

RED LIGHTS (2012) TWO OR THREE TOP HATS

February 12, 2013 by theipc

*MINOR SPOILERS BELOW* I’ve seen a lot of people posting about this movie over the last few months, mostly because everyone in the world loves Robert DeNiro and wanted a chance to catch him in something good and not MEET THE FOCKERS AT THE HOSPITAL CAFETERIA. It’s been almost unanimous, from those of you who I read, that everyone has been all “this was going good until the end” or “this film didn’t know how it wanted to end” or, like TYSON wrote “THIS […]

Categories: 2012, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Bobby DeNiro, Cillian Murphy, Clairvoyants, Elizabeth Olsen, Joely Richardson, LAME!!!, Pyschic, Red Lights Movie Review, Sigourney Weaver, Stupid Ending, Thriller, Toby Jones

TAKEN 2 (2012) TWO TOP HATS

February 5, 2013 by theipc

I want to go on record with this thing and admit that I have nothing but love for Liam Neeson and Luc Besson, I like Maggie Grace and I have always enjoyed D.B. Sweeney’s shit – but this movie from Olivier Megaton sucks it. I mean – the wife and I spent a lot of time LAUGHING during this – and this is in no way a comedy. Tons of other people have already written about this and I don’t think […]

Categories: 2012, Hostages, I'm Stupid, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: D.B. Sweeney, Famke Janssen, LAME!!!, Liam Neeson, Luc Besson, Maggie Grace, Olivier Megaton, Pretty Awful, Rade Serbedzija, Taken 2 Movie Review