Tag: Movie Review

WILDERNESS SURVIVAL FOR GIRLS (2004) THREE TOP HATS

June 13, 2016 by theipc

I can’t get any writing accomplished – here’s an OLD one from the early days of my blog, lumps and all… I would suspect that most people would watch this and think this was a boring movie about three dopey girls and a lame home invasion. I contend that this is actually pretty good, well acted and, while not that exciting, a nice little independent thriller with a cast of four that wasn’t a bad 80 minute filler to pass […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Ali Humiston, Eli B. Despres, Four Person Cast, Hostages, Independent, Isaacs Arcanum, James Morrison, Jeanette Brox, Kim Roberts, Megan Henning, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Pretty Good, Wilderness Survival For Girls

VALHALLA RISING (2009) THREE TOP HATS

January 6, 2016 by theipc

I recently watched this the other day for the first time since I originally posted this in August of 2011. I still agree with what I wrote here and even after 4 and 1/2 years I still don’t get it. Since only two people have ever looked at this, I thought I’d re-post it. This was before I even started putting pictures up in here! And look how few tags I used…! I have been struggling with how to even […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Movie Review, Odin, One Eye, Valhalla Rising

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE CRIMSON RIVERS TWOSOME

September 10, 2015 by theipc

(I haven’t done one of these in so long I forgot I used to do them so I figured – why not now – while I’m having trouble doing regular writing) I wrote about The Crimson Rivers a while back and just got to the sequel so, in order to keep these things properly grouped, here it is again (in case you missed it) and Angels of the Apocalypse below. Writing that made me think that the last two movies […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Boobs, Double Feature, Four Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Angels of the Apocalypse, Benoit Magimel, Bloody, booba, Camille Natta, French Movie, Horror Movie, Jean Reno, Movie Review, Nadia Fares, Nazis, The Crimson Rivers, The Professional, Vincent Cassel

THE RESIDENT (2011) TWO TOP HATS

September 2, 2015 by theipc

Here’s an oldie that no one but Lem has ever looked at : ) After trolling around the 70’s and 80’s in the Netflix queue (there’s not much else), I found something more modern, the dud that is “The Resident”. I do remember this being advertised and then released but I don’t remember hearing about this breaking any box office records, and now I see why. Boring from start to finish, this really did nothing for me the entire time except […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: Bathtubs, boooooooooooooring, Boresville, Christopher Lee, Hillary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Movie Review, No Boobs, racing stripe, the old switcheroo, The Resident Movie

SHITFEST 2015 ~ SUMMER: LUKE

July 10, 2015 by lukebbtt

Shitfest has been pretty awesome so far. Vinnieh has given us a ‘perhaps too insightful’ look at the life of male strippers, I now know to stay away from Leprechaun as if my life depended on it (Jennifer Aniston is just the bait – IT’S NOT WORTH IT!), and Unfriended still has me in stitches right now. But it’s time to ramp things up. Enter the devilishly handsome Oracle of Film (a.k.a me), reigning champion and tree-lover. For my Shitfest […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Boobs, Death and Destruction, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Found Footage, I LOVED IT, JIZZ, SATAN!, SHITFEST 2015: SUMMER, Slasher, Thriller, Very Gory, WHOSE BOOBS??? • Tags: B D Wong, bikes, Bikinis, Boobs, Bryce Dallas Howard, Butts, CATS, Chris Pratt, Colin Trevorrow, Dinosaurs, film, Irrfan Khan, Jurassic World, Jurassic World 2, Jurassic World Sequel, Kasabian, Luke Abbott's Balls, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nick Robinson, old balls, Omar Sy, Review, reviews, Roar, Sex, Ty Simpkins, Velociraptor, Vincent D'Onofrio

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EXORCISMUS (2010) FOUR TOP HATS

May 21, 2015 by theipc

Tuesday’s post got me thinking about this old post (HAHA THIS old thing???) that no one has ever read so I thought I’d repost it again and see if anyone liked it : ) Look how different things are today… Look at all of those quotation marks… Well – this has to be the best “exorcism” movie I have seen – but – to be honest, I haven’t seen very many of them. One of my favorite movies is “Exorcist III” but […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Del Toro Exorcismus, Doug Bradley, Exorcism Movie, Exorcismus Movie, Hellraiser, Horror Movie, Movie Review

SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER ~ YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

July 24, 2014 by theipc

BY: FILMNERDBLOG Yellowbrickroad I’m talking about Yellowbrickroad all-one-word. The turgid 2010 horror film, not the 2005 documentary Yellow Brick Road, about a group of disabled actors staging a performance of The Wizard of Oz, which actually sounds quite interesting. Seeing as this is Shitfest, I’ve no need to worry that I’m giving anything away by saying right at the start that this is truly, unequivocally and without any remote, miniscule, wavering shadow of a doubt, one of the worst films […]

Categories: FUCKING TERRIBLE, Ghosts, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER • Tags: Anessa Ramsey, Cassidy Freeman, FILMNERDBLOG RULES, Friar New Hampshire, Horror Movie, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Laura Heisler, Lee Wilkof |, Movie Review, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid, SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER, Tara Giordano, Yellowbrickroad

NOWHERESVILLE (2011) ONE TOP HAT

June 20, 2014 by theipc

(another one from the crypt – hopefully we can get back to boobs and blood next week!!) I guess this is one of those movies that gets the one top hat rating but doesn’t go to the Most Unclean list. I guess someone might like this, but I sure didn’t. I realize that it is difficult to make a decent movie where everything takes place in one or two rooms (like this one) but this has to be one of […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: Boresville, Movie Review, Nowheresville Movie Review, Sharina Martin; Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE TOOLBOX MURDERS (1977) FOUR TOP HATS

March 19, 2014 by theipc

I’m REALLY behind on my movie writin’ (and I’m very sleepy) (and I’ve been toiling away, working on something veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery special for Monday), and since someone responded to a questionnaire indicating they wouldn’t like it if I didn’t post something on Wednesday, here’s one from the archives that only one person has ever looked at. This is also one of my very first (and favorite) posts (LOL look at those tags!!) so don’t laugh AT me. Since only one person […]

Categories: 70s, Boobs, Four Top Hats, Grindhouse, Movie Reviews • Tags: Movie Review, The Toolbox Murders (1977)

SHITFEST 2014: WINTER ~ PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES

February 7, 2014 by caragale

Greetings, kind and beautiful Shitfest readers! So things are going to be a little different today. First of all, in case the hunky man in the banner didn’t tip you off, let’s make something clear: I am not Eric Isaacs of The IPC. My name is Cara, and I run a little blog called Silver Screen Serenade, if you’d like to hop on over and check that out (cough cough shameless self-promotion hack hack ahem). Mr. Isaacs is actually tied up […]

Categories: SHITFEST 2014: WINTER • Tags: 12-year-old humor, Assclown, Asshat Teenagers, Boobs, Cara takes The IPC, Devil-possessed women, Eric Isaacs is not here please leave a message, Got something in your eye, HORROR, Jump scares are dumb, Movie Review, No Script, Only the first one was good, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, Possessed Toys, Shitfest 2014: Winter, WTF IS THIS???

STRANGE GIRLS (2007) FOUR TOP HATS

January 22, 2014 by theipc

I’ve gotten a little bit behind on my movie watchin’ as we get geared up for the big SHITFEST coming up – so here’s a piece from the vault that only one person has ever looked at ~ Make no mistake, Strange Girls is a strange fucking movie. It starts out with two different looking red headed twins as two not-very-sane-murderous-out of their gourds sisters who escape from a mental hospital to live their lives on their own, to avoid […]

Categories: 2014, Boobs, Four Top Hats, HUH???, Movie Reviews, WOAH! • Tags: Angela Berliner, Boobs, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Jordana Berliner, Movie Review, Rona Mark, Strange Girls Movie Review, That's What You Get for Chewing Gum

YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010) TWO TOP HATS

October 21, 2013 by theipc

Here’s another reprint since I am currently convalescing after my vacation… This movie gets a big WTF. Billed as a horror movie, the trailer really made this look good, but as usual I have to remember that there’s a reason this didn’t make it to the movie theater and remember that FROZEN style lightning strikes very rarely. The opening credits and the first thirty minutes of YELLOWBRICKROAD are pretty good, even offering a very gruesome and surprisingly fresh death scene. […]

Categories: HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Two Top Hats, WHY??? • Tags: Anessa Ramsey, Cassidy Freeman, Friar New Hampshire, Horror Movie, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Laura Heisler, Lee Wilkof |, Movie Review, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid, Tara Giordano, Yellowbrickroad

BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE (2009) TWO TOP HATS

August 29, 2013 by theipc

(This is another oldie as I get the lineup for SHITFEST FALL ready to roll! Just a few more days!!) With a title like that and a poster like this I am sure the only people that are going to watch this are looking for one or two things… that girl without her bikini on or a bunch of gore. Well, the person would be disappointed because there’s not much of either, but surprisingly this wasn’t AS bad as I figured it […]

Categories: Boobs, Grindhouse, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Slasher, Two Top Hats • Tags: Bikini Girls on Ice, Caroline Faille, Christina Sciortino, Cindel Chartrand, Danielle Doetsch, Ice Machines, Kerri Taylor, Moe the Killer, Movie Review, Nothing Much Happens Here, Suzi Lorraine, William Jarand

BITCH SLAP (2010) TWO TOP HATS

August 21, 2013 by theipc

(ANOTHER RETRO) (look at all of those quotation marks) Bitch Slap – this is one of the several Grindhouse style films released (usually straight to DVD) over the last few years – I usually love these movies, or attempts, since they recall the old 70s flicks I used to watch on video tape or old HBO late at night while everyone was asleep, during my teens, when I didn’t have to work during the day all week long. Of the […]

Categories: Boobs, Grindhouse, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats, WHY??? • Tags: Bitchslap! Review, Horrible Dialogue, Horror Movie, Lack of Boobs, Movie Review, Pretty Stupid, Terrible CGI

BABYSITTER WANTED (2009) THREE TOP HATS

August 19, 2013 by theipc

(An oldie) This movie seemed to have a lot going for it, to me, just based on the poster, and i have always liked the babysitter-in-peril story. This was coming after a viewing of the totally wicked HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, so i had some high hopes. It starts off with a bang (involving a bound victim in a dark room), then we get the set up of the innocent, religious, on-her-knees-prayin’, rosary-carryin’ girl heading off to college and moving in with […]

Categories: Boobs, Cannibal Bastards, Movie Reviews, SATAN!, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Babysitter Wanted (Movie), Boobs, Eating People, Jillian Schmitz, Movie Review, Nana Visitor, People Meat, Sarah Thompson, Satan!!, Tina Houtz

NEIGHBOR (2010) ONE TOP HAT

July 30, 2013 by theipc

This movie was terrible in ALL aspects but one – the cinematography was pretty good. The premise to this looked pretty cool, so I got excited about a new slasher franchise. But – sadly – this thing was a complete fucking FAIL. The actors were all terrible, the dialogue was awful, the plot was stupid and the non-linear aspect of the story was useless and off putting. What a terrible hunk of shit. The DVD cover released here has a scantily […]

Categories: Hostages, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013!, Very Gory • Tags: A Torture To Watch, America Olivo, Amy Rutledge, An Affront to the Industry, Christian Campbell, Horror Movie, Lack of Boobs, Lauren Rooney, Movie Review, Neighbor Movie, Stupid, Terrible, This Movie Sucked

BLACK DEATH (2010) THREE TOP HATS

June 18, 2013 by theipc

I am not the type of guy to use the phrase “this movie doesn’t know what it wants to be” – because I hate that phrase, but I don’t really understand what the ultimate goal of this movie was. It transitions from a bloody, gritty, medieval “crusade” to search out a village that’s not infected with the Black Plague in the 14th century (which is presumably protected by a Satan worshiping necromancer) into a preachy, violent clash between Pagans and […]

Categories: Action, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Black Death, Christians, Kimberley Nixon, Marianne Graffam, Movie Review, Pagans, Plagues, Pustules, Sean Bean

PONTYPOOL (2008) FOUR TOP HATS

April 22, 2013 by theipc

This is kind of a neat, different sort of horror. It takes place (almost) entirely inside a radio station at the bottom of what I think is an old church. But the interesting thing about this is that most of the horror action is happening outside and the three radio employees are getting info on what’s going on in a small, Canadian town called Pontypool by people calling in, eyewitnesses who are screaming, yelling, and talking about people getting eaten, […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Thriller, Zombies • Tags: Georgina Reilly, Grant Mazzy, I Need To Shave, Language Virus, Leather Cowboy Hats, Movie Review, Pontypool Movie, Sadly - No Boobs, Small Cast, Stephen McHattie, Zombies

10 FAVORITE DIRECTOR’S QUOTES RELAY RACE

November 9, 2012 by theipc

I’ve never been involved in a Blogathon and this is the first relay race that I’ve been invited into. This one was created originally by David at Taste Of Cinema who provided the following as a description and the aim of the relay… “People love wisdom words from great minds. As a cinephile, I prefer director quotes than words from any other group of people in the world.Their thoughts on cinema not only provide insights into deep understanding of cinema, but also open the […]

Categories: 2012 • Tags: blogathon, film, Movie Review, Movies, reviews

FEBRUARY 29TH

February 29, 2012 by theipc

Good morning! February 29th.. this day only comes around every four years, so what better way to celebrate this Strange Day than with the very strange “STRANGE GIRLS“? This is a very bizarre, low budget, well acted (for the most part), probably-not-Hi-Def-rendered movie if you can find it but, I think, if you check it out, you won’t be disappointed in what you see. You should check out the review and try and gauge your opinion and while I think […]

Categories: Holidays, Uncategorized • Tags: Angela Berliner, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Jordana Berliner, Movie Review, Rona Mark, Strange Girls Movie Review, That's What You Get for Chewing Gum

X (2011) THREE TOP HATS

December 8, 2011 by theipc

I am not sure why this is called “X” other than someone came up with the idea for that sex sells movie poster… This sounded pretty intriguing: two hookers witness a killing and spend their night running for their lives. The trailer was pretty good too, promising some good looking video, some good looking women and a bunch of action. Well, for the first thirty minutes or so I thought I was watching something on Cinemax after midnight, chock full […]

Categories: Australian, Hostages, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Australian Thriller, Boobs, Hookers, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Movie Review, Viva Bianca, Weenuses, X Movie

DONKEY PUNCH (2008) THREE TOP HATS

November 22, 2011 by theipc

There are a lot of haters out on IMDB hating it up for this movie. “Donkey POOOOOO” they say. “Tripe!” they gripe. “Worst movie ever”. I don’t think it was too bad aside from being a little boring most of the time. It looked nice, the acting was good, it got a little gory here and there and I thought it was mostly believable until the last ten minutes. I also think someone should know what they are getting into […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Buttcrack Movie, Cool Flare Death, Death at Sea, Donkey Punch Movie Review, Gory, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Movie Review

WICKED LITTLE THINGS (2006) TWO TOP HATS

November 21, 2011 by theipc

While I certainly do appreciate the attempts by the After Dark Horrorfest each year, usually these “Too Controversial for Theaters” movies are generally pretty crappy and “Too Boring to Watch”. I caught a couple of them on DVD back when this started: “Dark Ride” (1 TH), “Penny Dreadful” (1 TH), and “The Gravedancers” (1 TH) before I gave up and went on to other things. After Dark 2 came around the next year with eight more films and I caught a few: “Tooth and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: After Dark Horrorfest, Borderland, Chloe Grace Moretz, Evil Zombie Kids, Geoffrey Lewis, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Lake Mungo, Mine Collapse, Movie Review, Scout Taylor Compton, Wicked Little Things Movie Review

DOGHOUSE (2009) THREE TOP HATS

November 18, 2011 by theipc

First off, my inner Who must say that, not only does this star Noel Clarke (Mickey from the David Tennant era of Doctor Who), but this also has a very small role for the one and only Mary Tamm (Romana 1) from the Tom Baker years, and she has matured very well. It was wonderful to see her again. Secondly, this movie really started off well – it was gory and funny and I liked the way they were going with […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: David Tennant, Doctor Who, Doghouse Movie Review, Horror Movie, Mary Tamm, Mickey, Movie Review, Romana

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