Tag: Pretty Stupid

ATM (2012) TWO TOP HATS

August 19, 2015 by theipc

I put off renting this movie for a few weeks since I saw it pop up on iTunes because, honestly, I didn’t want to spend the “pre-theatrical release” rental fee for a movie about three people trapped in an enclosed ATM kiosk with someone out there silently threatening to kill them. I thought the trailer looked decent enough but I just didn’t feel like justifying the dough for a movie about three people trapped in an ATM structure. With some […]

Categories: 2012, Hostages, Two Top Hats • Tags: Alice Eve, ATM Movie Review, Brian Geraghty, Josh Peck, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid

SHITFEST 2015: THE EXPENDABLES (2010)

March 9, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE VOLUPTUOUS: Shitfest 2015 – The Expendables Once upon a time, a young man named Sylvester Stallone had dreams of becoming a film star. It was a good dream and over the years he made that dream come true. But as he was getting older, he realized that he had so much more to give. After all, he had had a long and storied career, one that any up and coming actor or actress could […]

Categories: 2015, Action, Death and Destruction, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2015, WOAH! • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, action movies, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Antonio Banderas, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Big Schwartzie, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, Bruce Willis, Bullets and Brawn, Chuck Norris, Colleen Camp, DANGER!!!, Dolph Lundgren, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Glen Powell, guns and explosions, Half Ass Reviews, Harrison Ford, Intrigue, Jan de Bont, Jared The Subway Guy!!, Jason Patric, Jason Statham, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Kelsey Grammer, KISS BOOTS!!, Lois Chiles, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, Man Boobs Only, MAYHEM!!, Mel Gibson, Mike Hagerty, MISERABLE, no boobs anywhere, Not Very Good, Pretty Stupid, Pretty Stupid But Entertaining In A Way, Quickies, Randy Couture, Ronda Rousey, Sandra Bullock, shitfest 2015, Sly Stallone, Speed 2: Cruise Control Movie Review, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, The Expendables 2, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Victor Ortiz, Wesley Snipes, Willem Dafoe, Wonder Woman!!, You Wear Your Grand-Dad's Clothes

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HALF ASS REVIEWS: THE EXPENDABLES 3 and SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL

December 10, 2014 by theipc

Here we are again….. I had a lot of fun with the first two Expendables movies. They were loud and stupid and tons of shit blew up and there was lots of blood and mayhem. When I found out they pussied it up and made this PG-13 I was really disappointed but we gave it a shot anyway. This starts off ridiculous and just gets worse and then they get rid of the old team for some stupid reason and […]

Categories: 2014, Action, FUCKING TERRIBLE, Half Ass Reviews, HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Two Top Hats, WHY??? • Tags: action movies, Antonio Banderas, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Colleen Camp, Dolph Lundgren, Glen Powell, guns and explosions, Half Ass Reviews, Harrison Ford, Jan de Bont, Jason Patric, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Kelsey Grammer, Lois Chiles, Mel Gibson, Mike Hagerty, MISERABLE, no boobs anywhere, Not Very Good, Pretty Stupid, Randy Couture, Ronda Rousey, Sandra Bullock, Speed 2: Cruise Control Movie Review, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, Victor Ortiz, Wesley Snipes, Willem Dafoe

SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER ~ YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

July 24, 2014 by theipc

BY: FILMNERDBLOG Yellowbrickroad I’m talking about Yellowbrickroad all-one-word. The turgid 2010 horror film, not the 2005 documentary Yellow Brick Road, about a group of disabled actors staging a performance of The Wizard of Oz, which actually sounds quite interesting. Seeing as this is Shitfest, I’ve no need to worry that I’m giving anything away by saying right at the start that this is truly, unequivocally and without any remote, miniscule, wavering shadow of a doubt, one of the worst films […]

Categories: FUCKING TERRIBLE, Ghosts, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER • Tags: Anessa Ramsey, Cassidy Freeman, FILMNERDBLOG RULES, Friar New Hampshire, Horror Movie, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Laura Heisler, Lee Wilkof |, Movie Review, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid, SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER, Tara Giordano, Yellowbrickroad

IN THE CUT (2003) PRETTY BORING

January 13, 2014 by theipc

*The following post contains a handful of adult images. Readers in New Jersey and Portland are discouraged from proceeding.* This movie reminds me of another story from my life… My very first job I had, when I turned 16, was being a bus boy at this local hamburger joint down the street from where I lived. I didn’t mind it but I didn’t know any better. Anyway, one night I was out busing the place up and at one point […]

Categories: 2014, Boobs, Drama, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Bacon is Delish, Boobs, Boresville, Butt Licking, In The Cut 2003 Movie Review, Jennifer Jason Leigh Gets Her Head cut Off, Kevin Bacon, Mark Ruffalo, Meg Ryan's Boobs, Pretty Stupid, Tits McGillicutty

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! IT’S THE PUMPKINHEAD QUADRILOGY!!

October 31, 2013 by theipc

I originally wrote this for a piece over at our friend’s site: NOT NOW I’M DRINKING A BEER AND WATCHING A MOVIE – so, in case you missed it there, here it is again. Also – please be sure to look at his place and give him a follow, although I’m sure you already do! AND – since most of you have already seen this post over at Beer’s site – WE have something VERY SPECIAL for you coming out […]

Categories: 2013, 80s, 90s, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Population Sample, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Ami Dolenz, Amy Manson, Andrew Robinson, Bob Gunter, Bradley Taylor, Cynthia Bain, Doug Bradley, Ed Harley, Gloria Hendry, Hambone Acting, Ioana Ginghina, Jeff East, John D'Aquino, Kerry Remsen, Kimberly Ross, laire Lams, Lance Henriksen, Lisa McAllister, Poop, Pretty Stupid, Pumpkinhead, Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings, Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes, Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud, REALLY??? No boobs in any of these movies??, Soleil Moon Frye, Steve Kanaly, Swamps and Shit, Terrible CGI, Tess Panzer, The Pumpkinhead Franchise, Wicthes!

YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010) TWO TOP HATS

October 21, 2013 by theipc

Here’s another reprint since I am currently convalescing after my vacation… This movie gets a big WTF. Billed as a horror movie, the trailer really made this look good, but as usual I have to remember that there’s a reason this didn’t make it to the movie theater and remember that FROZEN style lightning strikes very rarely. The opening credits and the first thirty minutes of YELLOWBRICKROAD are pretty good, even offering a very gruesome and surprisingly fresh death scene. […]

Categories: HUH???, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Nothing, Two Top Hats, WHY??? • Tags: Anessa Ramsey, Cassidy Freeman, Friar New Hampshire, Horror Movie, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Laura Heisler, Lee Wilkof |, Movie Review, No Boobs, Not Very Exciting, Pretty Stupid, Tara Giordano, Yellowbrickroad

BITCH SLAP (2010) TWO TOP HATS

August 21, 2013 by theipc

(ANOTHER RETRO) (look at all of those quotation marks) Bitch Slap – this is one of the several Grindhouse style films released (usually straight to DVD) over the last few years – I usually love these movies, or attempts, since they recall the old 70s flicks I used to watch on video tape or old HBO late at night while everyone was asleep, during my teens, when I didn’t have to work during the day all week long. Of the […]

Categories: Boobs, Grindhouse, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats, WHY??? • Tags: Bitchslap! Review, Horrible Dialogue, Horror Movie, Lack of Boobs, Movie Review, Pretty Stupid, Terrible CGI

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 22: SUGAR BOXX (2009)

May 19, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: YOURS TRULY Emulating the “Women in Prison” exploitation from the 70’s, these guys have brought us Sugar Boxx – a movie about hookers hooking it up, getting thrown in jail, being abused, being made to turn tricks every Saturday – and their machete chopping revenge. This also comes complete with a score “Shaft” shat, whippings, abusive cops, abusive guards, the sadistic warden , delousing baths, a tickle fight, a muscle car, “hard core women who live like savages in […]

Categories: 2013, Grindhouse, HUH???, I'm Stupid, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Boobs, female inmates, Geneviere Anderson, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Pretty Stupid, prostitution ring, sadistic warden, SHITFEST 2013!, Sugar Boxx Movie Review, Thela Brown, This Movie Sucked, tits

EVIL BREED: THE LEGEND OF SAMHAIN (2003) TWO TOP HATS

October 16, 2012 by theipc

First – let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way so you can make your own judgements: JENNA JAMESON. Second – I always put the movie poster of my choosing up front so they look all nice on the front page of the theme here. Sometimes, and I have no idea WHY??, but WP skips the movie poster and goes to the next or third picture and that drives my sense of order and OCD insane – […]

Categories: Cannibal Bastards, I'm Stupid, Two Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Bobbie Phillips, Brandi-Ann Milbradt, Cannibal Bastards, Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain Movie Review, Gillian Leigh, Pretty Stupid, Pretty Sucky

DEAD AND BREAKFAST (2004) TWO TOP HATS

August 12, 2012 by theipc

I totally ♥ horror comedies and I totally ♥ super gory things and I totally ♥ zombie movies but for some reason I didn’t like this very much. Did I just not get it? I HATED the rockabilly shit going on throughout it but even if I get over myself and forget that ever happened, I still didn’t care for much of this. It’s actually been four hours since I wrote those last sentences and reflecting on this movie, I […]

Categories: I'm Stupid, Two Top Hats, Very Gory, Zombies • Tags: Bianca Lawson, David Carradine, Dead and Breakfast Movie Review, Diedrich Bader, Erik Palladino, Ever Carradine, Gina Philips, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jeremy Sisto, Miranda Bailey, Oz Perkins, Pretty Bloody, Pretty Stupid, Pretty Sucky

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (5): RAVE TO THE GRAVE (2005) ONE SHITTY TOP HAT

July 10, 2012 by theipc

Just when you thought it couldn’t ever get any worse for the series that started off with one of my favorite movies ever, here comes the poor, sad, terrible, mother fucker that is this horrible, horrible movie. I thought 4 was terrible and it had to get better because we all learn from our mistakes, right? Well, please take my word for it that this is a real piece of shit and this merits nothing and you will never benefit from seeing […]

Categories: I'm Stupid, One Top Hat, Population Sample, Zombies • Tags: Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, An Affront to the Industry, Cory Hardrict, Fucking Awful, Jenny Mollen, John Keefe, Pretty Stupid, Return of the Living Dead (5): Rave to the Grave Movie Review, Terrible

AUTUMN (2009) TWO TOP HATS

January 11, 2012 by theipc

If you’re ever in the mood for an exciting zombie movie – this is not the one. What we have here is an extremely boring, way too long story about a group of people talking and talking and moping and being sad and walking around with their mouths open in very poorly lit rooms, with some zombies here and there. Apparently this is based off of a popular series of novels that I have never read or heard of, but […]

Categories: 80s, Two Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: Autumn Movie Review, Boresville, David Carradine, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Pretty Stupid, Zombies

SOMEONE’S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR (2009) TWO TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

This is a random grab from the BLU RAY and Doctor Who trunk. I watched this a few months ago (so it’s not totally current) and my wife is at Photography class, so I am taking keyboard in hand to offer up my thoughts on this thing. Let’s see here – I started catching this movie as a “recommend” through Amazon before it came out, billed as “The most DEPRAVED film of the 21st century” on the DVD cover. The […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Horror Movie, Killed by Vagina, Movie Review, Noah Segan, Pretty Stupid, Someone's Knocking at the Door, This Sucked