Tag: Sci-Fi

LISTENING (2014) THREE TOP HATS

August 8, 2016 by theipc

How about that movie poster? I promise that has nothing to do with anything in this movie. So lame. Anyway, a year or so ago I watched something called “Fun Sized Horror Volume 1” which was an anthology of not very good horror shorts but there was one in particular about a reality show where the contestants had to kill each other that wasn’t bad. In it, there was an actress who I found stunningly good looking so one day […]

Categories: 2016, Boobs, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, Sci - Fi, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: amber marie bollinger, amber marie bollinger is smoking hot, Artie Ahr, Boobs, Boring, brain zap, Christine Haeberman, lens flares, listening 2014 movie, mind reading, monks, Not That Great, Sci-Fi, shitter, the thingy, Thomas Stroppel

SHITFEST 2015: SOLARIS (2002)

February 10, 2015 by theipc

THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE MOVIE WATCHINGEST MOVIE WATCHER EVER: Whenever Eric posts that Shitfest is coming, I start racking my brain as to what movie I saw and hated so much that I would want to re-watch and rant about it. Unlike our esteemed host, I am usually not a fan of rewatching shitty movies, so this is generally quite a difficult task for me. Soooooo, after thinking about it for a while, I finally came up with […]

Categories: 2015, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, HUH???, No Boobs, Nothing, Sci - Fi, SHITFEST 2015, WHY??? • Tags: Aliens, book adaptation, Clooney, Clooney buttocks, duplication, flop, Jeremy Davies, outer space, psychologist, Remake, sanity, Sci-Fi, Space, space station, Steven Soderbergh, strange planet, Viola Davis

110

LUKE ABBOTT INTERPRETS: ALTERED STATES (1980)

January 21, 2015 by lukebbtt

Welcome to another edition of Luke Abbott Interprets – the post where Luke reviews a movie he has never seen solely based on images I provide! If you want to do some of these – just let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me! One note about this film – my dad has ever gone to two movies with me in my life – the new Walking Tall with The Rock and something back when I was […]

Categories: 2015, Boobs, BOOOOOOOORING!!!!, HUH???, IPC Interpretations, Movie Reviews, SATAN!, Sci - Fi, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: altered states movie review, Blair Brown, Blair Brown's Boobs, Bob Balaban, Boobs, Bullshit, caveman penis, Drew Barrymore, Ken Russell, luke abbott interprets, ORACLE OF FILM, Sci-Fi, this movie is fucked up, What The Fuck, William Hurt

EDGE OF TOMORROW (2014) FOUR TOP HATS

November 18, 2014 by theipc

I know this post is very similar to a post from last week – in my defense, I’ve been busy as fuck and haven’t been able to sit down to do some quality writing my bullshit… so…. It took me a while to get to this thing but, eventually it was available for rent and I got to watch it and I really liked it. I think i liked it more for the sly comedy in there than for the action or […]

Categories: 2014, Action, Excitement, Four Top Hats, I LOVED IT, No Boobs, Sci - Fi • Tags: BARBARELLA, Boobs, EDGE OF TOMORROW, Emily Blunt, Emily Ratajkowski, JANE FONDA, KIND OF SILLY BUT REALLY GOOD, LIVE DIE REPEAT, NO BOOBS IN THE MOVIE, Sci-Fi, TOM CRUISE

THE MACHINE (2013) FOUR BIG TOP HATS

May 23, 2014 by theipc

It’s funny – I don’t really do a lot of Sci-Fi out here but this week we have two in a row. Is that AMAZING or what????? ?????????? ?? POOP FART. Yesterday we looked at a miserable movie that had a lot of butt fucking in it and I used words like “butter” and “Pappy”. Today should go a little better because I really liked THE MACHINE so I need to come up with something nice to say about it. […]

Categories: 2014, Four Top Hats, I LOVED IT, No Boobs, Sci - Fi, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: 80s, AWESOMENESS, BLADE RUNNERY, Blood!!, BOMBS, Caity Lotz, Denis Lawson, Robots!!, Sci-Fi, Slight Boobs, THE MACHINE MOVIE REVIEW, Toby Stephens

GALAXY QUEST (1999) NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!

May 7, 2014 by theipc

The other day TABLE 9 MUTANT came around talking about David Bowie’s giant, bulging penis on Twitter and then I had to see Frankenstein’s dead weenie on PENNY DREADFUL and CARA started tweeting about sausages and ZOE was all about Sebastian Stan in his underwear, so I got really creeped out with so much dong talk that I ran off crying and hid in the corner and watched Galaxy Quest for the millionth time. Now… I don’t normally do comedies out […]

Categories: 2014, Boobs, Excitement, Four Top Hats, I LOVED IT, Sci - Fi • Tags: Alan Rickman, Boobs, Enrico Colantoni, GALAXY QUEST MOVIE REVIEW, I LOVE IT, JUSTIN LONG, Missi Pyle, NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER, ONE OF MY FAVORITES, Sam Rockwell, Sci-Fi, Sigourney Weaver, Tim Allen, Tony Shalhoub

HALF ASS REVIEWS: BRAZIL

December 5, 2013 by theipc

I watched this when I was a kid and really liked it. I watched it almost 30 years later and – not so much. In fact, it was noisy and loud and, quite frankly, irritating. So much so that I can’t muster the energy to do a full post. Government control, commercialism and escapism is the story and it takes over 2 and half hours to get to the end. Robert DeNiro is fun as a freelance, guerrilla HVAC guy […]

Categories: 2013, 80s, Boobs, Half Ass Reviews, Sci - Fi, Three Top Hats • Tags: Boobs, Brazil 1985 Movie Review, Half Ass Reviews, Jonathan Pryce, Kim Greist, Loud and Noisy, Not As Good As I Remembered, Paperwork, Robert De Niro, Sci-Fi, Terry Gilliam, Whiny Fucker

A QUICKIE WITH MRS. THE IPC: ELYSIUM

August 11, 2013 by theipc

This segment is to try and prove to people that I don’t only watch horseshit, non-mainstream movies and that I’m not totally insane. LOL *INDIRECT SPOILERS IN HERE* ME: What did you think about that? MRS. THE IPC: It wasn’t as awesome as I thought it would be. ME: (pause) ME: Not really, I suppose. MRS. THE IPC: Some of it just didn’t work. ME: Like Jodie Foster playing a French woman who speaks in English? MRS THE IPC: And […]

Categories: 2013, Action, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Quickies, Sci - Fi, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Elysium 2013 Movie Review, Jodie Foster, Matt Damon, Neill Blomkamp, No Boobs, People Blowing Up, Quickies, Sci-Fi, Sharlto Copley, Wicked Special Effects, William Fichtner

MOON (2009) FIVE TOP HATS

August 8, 2013 by theipc

The first time I watched MOON – a few years ago, I am pretty sure I was stoned on Mexican Dirt Grass and never really remembered how it ended or even got it. I just watched this again all dry and coherent and I am gonna come out and say how much I LOVED this movie. The technical aspects of this are phenomenal, Sam Rockwell acted his fucking balls off, GERTY was slightly heart moistening and the story was just […]

Categories: Excitement, Five Top Hats, Movie Reviews, No Boobs, Sci - Fi • Tags: Clones, Dominique McElligott, Kevin Spacey, Lonely, MOON Movie Review, No Boobs, Sam Rockwell, Sci-Fi

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: APOLLO 18 (2011) TWO TOP HATS

April 23, 2013 by theipc

Are you familiar with this? Some U.S. astronauts head to the moon and run into some creepy crawlies. It has some good things about it but otherwise it was pretty sorry and, granted I missed the first few minutes dealing with the lawn guys, but after this found footage was finally over I was left with just one fucking question: if all of this took place up in space and on the moon, and that’s how it ended – how […]

Categories: 2012, Found Footage, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Sci - Fi, Two Top Hats • Tags: Apollo 18 Movie Review, Found Footage, LAME!!!, NO FUCKING BOOBS!, Not Very Good, Sci-Fi, Space, The Moon

ANOTHER EARTH (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

April 1, 2013 by theipc

I remember when this came out and I read about it in the newspaper (yes I still read the newspaper) and they hailed it as “brilliant” and I thought it looked like some boring yawner with a mopey hot chick in it and a guy that pops up in just about everything I see. Well – the other week I got up early and the wife slept in so I turned on the TV and this was on and I […]

Categories: 2013, Drama, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Sci - Fi • Tags: Ana Valle, Another Earth Movie Review, Brit Marling, Fuck Clowns, Mike Cahill, Moody, Redemption and Remorse, Sci-Fi, William Mapother

EVENT HORIZON (1997) FOUR TOP HATS

November 26, 2012 by theipc

Yesterday I was sitting around emotionally and beeredly hungover form the big OU / OSU game, wondering what I would post for the anniversary of my birth, also know as The Day That Changed Everything For Me, and I was flipping through iTunes and saw this and thought – “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO should I try this???” I’ve said before, on this primarily horror site, that there’s really only a few movies that have actually scared me: The Shining, Psycho 2, The Descent […]

Categories: 90s, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Sci - Fi • Tags: Event Horizon Movie Review, Hell!!, Holley Chant, Jack Noseworthy, Jason Isaacs (No Relation), Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Laurence Fishburne, Paul W.S. Anderson, Richard T. Jones, Sam Neill, Scary, Sci-Fi, Sean Pertwee, Space

LOCKOUT (2012) TWO TOP HATS

August 2, 2012 by theipc

Guy Pearce is one of my favorite actors – I mean that. I could come out here and make a list of all of my favorite roles of his but there’s no point in doing that because he’s awesome in everything except for the unexciting Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. And this stinkumup. You would think with Luc Beeson running the show and Pearce in the lead, we’d get something fantastic but I am sad to report that, quite […]

Categories: 2012, Three Top Hats • Tags: 2012, Guy Pearce, Lockout Movie Review, Luc Beeson, Maggie Grace, Not Good, Peter Stormare, Prison Riot, Sci-Fi

PREDATORS (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

I was kind of pumped to see this movie in the theater when it came out, but things didn’t work out for me so I caught it this weekend on Blu Ray. I liked the Predator movies, even the Alien Vs Predators movies, and this was produced by Robert Rodriguez, so I had high hopes. It started off real strong and then just kind of lost steam, slowly, slowly, slowly until the unexciting end. It’s rare for me to “be […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Adrian Brody, Horror Movie, Movie Review, Predators 2010, Robert Rordriguez, Sci-Fi, Topher Grace